.undone.

2002-01-18T16:27:00.000-05:00

And Gee, I'm Sorry That You Weren't Right For Me

Goodbye blogger. I've moved on to different things. Or have found the same things in different places, at least.

A good day to end a delightfully short week. Now. Work.

I'm keeping this blog up for personal reasons, so maybe I'll stop by every once and a while.

*shrug*

2002-01-16T19:21:00.000-05:00

Please, Oh Please, Let's Talk About Something Else...

...before I cry... wah, wah, waaaaaaaaah!

Soundwaves::"Cat With Two Heads!" The Aquabats!
AIM::Mark (Auclair! YAY!), Joy (I like her!)

I hope that you all liked my two AIM conversations. Basically Mikey and I have returned to our dumb selves, and I'm planning things for an exams package for him... and then Rob (UK friend) got jealous, though he won't admit it, and I decided to give him some space. Eeeee!
Today was... good. But it really wasn't. Physics was good and I think I like Coach Bray. He was funny and I know all of you have heard this lots already, but he looked at my PSATs and said, "You *might* be able to get into West Georgia with that!" as he handed them to me. It was just... nice. Hahaha. :) My PSATs were good considering the situation, which I will explain in a few seconds. That morning, and I remember it oh so vividly, my dearest Lisa Huey had called me around 5:45 (A.M., mind you) and told me that Tavis had been kicked out of Reel Big Fish. She couldn't really tell me why, because we didn't know at that point. So during the PSATs I spent my time thinking about what could have happened... and I even cried once. To say it in not-so-many words, I was not focused. At all! But I still managed a 1240, which is 30 points higher than last year's. Imagine if I had actually applied myself! *evil cackle* Here's to breaking that 1300 on the SATs...
I sucked in 5th period and Spencer sort of yelled at me a few times... but I felt very poopy during that middle part of the day and told him that I didn't care. And for him to stop yelling at me. Then I got a 67 on my History test... *great* way to start off the semester. That's what I get for being sick, I guess. Well. I'LL SHOW TAGGART! By not being there tomorrow. Whee! That's right! I'm so checking out 5th period and not coming back.
Jazz band is stupid. For the record.
Ryan showed concern for me today in band because I was... crazy and angry and hostile and frustrated and it was nice. Because like, whenever he went through his thing, I made it a point to ask him things, even though he wouldn't let me know what was going on and said things were fine. Even though he and I aren't as close as we used to be, I really think he's one of the few people that I can trust with practically anything.
Shush, Mikey. I'm over it! WAAAAAAAAH! Not really. YOINK! Got your nose! Whoo. *runs*

2002-01-16T18:53:00.000-05:00

Feel the Wrath of Misson Code Name: Applesauce

KariFullOfGoo: So you're jealous of Mikey?
I is Roib: noooo
KariFullOfGoo: Yes, you are!
I is Roib: bollocks am I
I is Roib: why would I be?
KariFullOfGoo: Coz I'm making him a coffee mug with my baby picture on it.
I is Roib: and why would i want that?
I is Roib: huh?
KariFullOfGoo: And it's gonna say, "I like you too much to hate you. Ever."
I is Roib: damn
KariFullOfGoo: You suck, Rob.
I is Roib: that's sweet
I is Roib: I know
I is Roib: but at least I suck well
I is Roib: Your eyes are like spheres of glue filled with shimmering worms
KariFullOfGoo: Nice!
KariFullOfGoo: That's so romantic.
I is Roib: I know
I is Roib: I suck
I is Roib: If I were to combine your blood, toes, and hair, it might not be you, but it would be enough for my basic desires
I is Roib: ahhhhhhhhhhhh
I is Roib: anyway
I is Roib: I have to go now...
KariFullOfGoo: You're nuts.
I is Roib: you can use that if you want to...
I is Roib: thankyou
KariFullOfGoo: And I will use that.
I is Roib: ginger nuts
I is Roib: heh heh heh
KariFullOfGoo: You're a good guy....
I is Roib: anyway
KariFullOfGoo: Haaaahaha.
KariFullOfGoo: You completely just ruined the compliment I was going to give you.
I is Roib: yeah well...if people tell me enough, I may believe them
I is Roib: beacuse...
I is Roib: I ruined it because
KariFullOfGoo: Because of the ginger nuts thing.
I is Roib: damn
I is Roib: oh well
KariFullOfGoo: I was gonna compliment you and then you made me laugh and I lost it.
I is Roib: oh well
I is Roib: anyway
I is Roib: i must dash
I is Roib: to do some work
KariFullOfGoo: Goodbye!
KariFullOfGoo: :*

2002-01-16T17:45:00.000-05:00

KariFullOfGoo: I really do hate you.
KariFullOfGoo: When I meet you. I'm gonna spit on you.
kayrock29: no you wont
KariFullOfGoo: Or pretend like I don't see you.
kayrock29: liar
KariFullOfGoo: I wish I was lying. Dammit. Damn you.
kayrock29: hahaha i knew it.
KariFullOfGoo: I like you too much to hate you. Ever.
kayrock29: sniff... thats the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me
KariFullOfGoo: I'll make you a coffee mug with that on it.
kayrock29: if only i drank coffee. but still cool.
KariFullOfGoo: *writes idea down*
KariFullOfGoo: You can drink your damn water out of it.
kayrock29: i dont drink water.
KariFullOfGoo: What do you drink, mutant?
kayrock29: soda and beer and arizona ice tea.
KariFullOfGoo: Drink it out of the mug, then.
kayrock29: i will.
KariFullOfGoo: I wonder how I'll go abouts making one.
KariFullOfGoo: I should put some god awful picture of me on it.
KariFullOfGoo: Niiiiiiice. Like the things you can get at Kmart for $10.
kayrock29: hahaha.
kayrock29: sweet.

2002-01-15T18:18:00.000-05:00

After thought...

I just got off the phone with Mikey... and I think he uttered, "I love you, Kari!" really whiney and funnily when he was trying to get me off the phone. After telling me how much he hates me and how he doesn't want to be my friend... Wha! But I didn't question if he did or not... I'm about 95% sure. And I was just like, "Yeah, sure you do. Uh-huh." :D He knows how to push my buttons. And whatever feelings that I had for him are definitely reappearing. He puts things very truthfully. He told me to go make out with boys and get over whatever was making me sad. But he's a big hypocrite! And it's so... adorable. Gah. If only... *squeal* I'm not gonna get started.

And in the middle of my conversation with Mikey, Patrick called and asked me to the basketball game. That was nice, and I really want to start going to all of the bball games... but my mommy denied me because of my "state." Teehee. I'm starting to feel crappy again. And I will try to eat meat!

I painted my nails a nice color. So I did accomplish something today, afterall.

After dinner I'm determined to sit down and try to understand this mathy stuff. I wonder if that will happen. If not, I'll come back and talk to Matt, my nice little math major buddy from the BF BBS (Ben Folds BBS)...

So I was moved in History? Maybe I'm somewhere inconspicuous, because then I'll take up to sleeping instead of passing Ryan stupid and random notes. That sounds like a fair trade to me.

2002-01-15T16:36:00.000-05:00

Find Myself All By Myself and No One Else Can Find it for Me

Soundwaves::"Alone in a Crowd" Catch 22
AIM::Leia

So I threw up about fifteen minutes after I got to school. Ha! No fun at all. I probably could have stayed the whole day after puking, but I think that goes against a lot of my moral values. Anyone who gets sick at school should not have to stay there. Coach Bray seemed nice about it. So maybe I don't dislike him as much. But I had a fun time making fun of him in the car to my mother, because she knows of my problems with him very well.
This day has been incredibly uneventful and not productive at all. And I still feel crappy. I'm afraid to take my medicine. I've eaten two grilled cheeses... mmmmmmmmm... And now I can't go to the bball game. Coz I'm "sick" or whatever. But I probably would spew again. No fun.
Wait! Today was productive! I spoke with Rob (UK) and Mikey (Boston) and I've realized how much I miss those guys. Now that Mikey's back at school, maybe he and I will talk lots more. Hopefully, at least. Coz I've needed him lately for some things, and he's helped some, but he's always doing stuff. And I miss his radio show and requesting songs and being a dork and calling in.
Nicole... your new layout doesn't work at all on my browser. *shrug*
I had a dream about Chris, the guy from Hot Topic, when I fell asleep watching Zim around 9:30 and didn't wake up until 1:30. Not going to school is nice. I should do it more often.
Stressed out.. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...............

2002-01-14T16:59:00.000-05:00

Figured I'd post this one from a while ago.

November 23

I want to be something more
than this mess of features
all tangled and distracted
by immediate emergencies.
This is too temporary,
too clumsy and unreliable.
I need stability
in this time when I, myself,
am brittle and unsure.

I turn jealous too easily
and it destroys the little
confidence which took me
so long to build up.
I am nothing in comparison
to the things which you have.

I hope for days
when this curtain will be lifted
by his strong forearms
followed by those familiar eyes.
And I long for his touch
which will pull me out of
this deep freeze...
and in return, I will mend
those sour spots
which have been eating him away.

The only medication I need now
is the comfort of his lower lip:
creased, dry, and chapped
from this winter wind.

If he gave me his word
I would never break it.
It's worth this wait.

2002-01-13T00:50:00.000-05:00

It's Not Pink, It's FUSCHIA!

Soundwaves::"Firefly" Saves the Day
AIM::Amber, Impossibles MB guy...

So Matt calls me today... Sunday's plans are completely off. Heidi came down with something bad... and he feels horrible about everything. He said he bought me something and blah blah. So they might be coming for the Catch 22 show instead. I just want to see them. I really am growing so fond of Matt, and if I could just be with him... I would be so insanely happy.
I did end up seeing Nick today, and that's what the title of today's blog is about. He dyed his hair "pink"... very interesting. I still think he's cute as hell. He was my very last auditioner, and I wanted to ask him if he wanted to go out or something, but he just sort of left. Things were a little awkward with him, but I think everything would have been fine if the environment had been different. But he did seem excited that we'd be working together AGAIN at festival... and he told me that I "HAD TO!" He seemed fairly adamant about it. Allstate for me was horrible. But I'm not very bothered by it, because Bernie and I got the same score, and Tavius did considerably worse than I did. So farewell District, farewell Allstate. I won't ever see you again. Nor do I care.
Tonight I went out, because of the news of tomorrow being off. I went to the mall with my parents, and I escaped to hopefully visit Brian (PacSun) and Chris (Hot Topic)... but Brian (the one I like the most) wasn't even working. I bought the Saves the Day CD at Hot Topic... thought about buying the Johnny Knoxville poster from Wherehouse... but that will be for later.
Amber and I might go get our hair cut tomorrow. I'd like to see her. I miss her. So guys, prepare for a new Kari. I have hair dye, too. *DANCES* I'm going to pour all of it on my roots, because they're horrible. I should read English. But it's 12:37 and I am sleepy. So after checking for some things on eBay, I am retiring to my big bed. *purr*

2002-01-12T00:15:00.000-05:00

Disappear Completely

Soundwaves::"Progress" RxBandits
AIM::Nicole (BBS)

Today was incredibly productive. It started off very nicely, school ended very not nicely, and the rest of the day picked up well from there. Ended nicely, too, but maybe just a little too awkward for my liking.
So, details...
Physics was fun for some reason. I guess it was mostly because of me and Nicki cracking jokes in the back of the classroom, and Ryan and TJ (not Gross) being back there to laugh at us. And making fun of Clay is always priceless.... then the substitute in English equaled SLEEP! It was nice. We did about twenty minutes of work in math, about the same in Latin... band we read stuff with tenor clef (BOO!), and History just always sucks.
After school... Kristy, Keeve and I went to Tacobell (I say it as one word, so I spell it as one word) after school, after we had dropped Puja off at her house. We talked a lot about things that were on our mind, and Keeve and I made a silly little pact. :) Keeve is great... then Kristy and I went to MoGA, taking 316 instead of 85 North (took a wrong turn)... we saw Orange County. It was really good, just not as funny as we thought it was going to be. Well, I thought it was good. It disappointed me in some aspects, because I was hoping the movie would answer some of my college questions (see my blog from four blogs ago? I think...) andddddd it didn't. But it was good... and I, too, plan on drowning myself in a pool with my clothes on if I do not get accepted into Tech. Mmmyep.
Express was good, I got some whacky jeans and a nice shirt, which I might wear both tomorrow... then we left the mall (after a brief visit at Hot Topic) and traveled to Ryan's swim meet. It was very... funny. And I felt incredibly out of place. But Kristy and I had our fun, and actually stayed for the whole thing. We were entertained for the most part by Ryan, coz he only swam at the beginning and the end of the meet, and by some other girls that go to our school. Ryan swam well in his relays, but he lost it in the breast stroke that he did by himself. :) And his mom yelled at him in a joking way and we made fun of him together. Hahaha. I wonder if she likes me or not, because I love her to death. His parents really are the greatest. Then we went to Donato's for pizza... it was nice. We talked about being 'bad kids.' Sometime soon, it will happen! *growls* Kristy seemed to enjoy herself too, and it was really just good that we were all there together. I just got home.
I have to be awake at 7 or so... since I got home so late (11:30, exactly), I didn't get a chance to practice any more for allstate... and though my scales aren't TOO rough, they're not perfect. So I'm going to "mentally practice them..." memorization is always good. And I promised Kristy that if Nick auditioned in the morning, that I would ask him to go to lunch with me.... then we'd make out and I'd go audition and we'd go out Saturday night. If I do it, she'll go talk to the Pep Boys guy. If Nick auditions in the morning, I'm definitely going to say something... if I think he's at least semi interested in me anymore. Wait. I don't think he ever was. But he seemed to be.... I took the initiative and received feedback... and it was good... *ponders*
Today was good. I don't want to say that things are getting better... because I don't think they are. I think I may be about to get myself into some trouble. *big shrug* I could care less.

2002-01-10T22:43:00.000-05:00

Tell Her Not To Go Waisting Her Time Running Around With Some Other Fella

Soundwaves::"When I Lost You" the Mr. T Experience
AIM::Mikey just went out. >:P

Today was... acceptable. A few good things happened, which made me realize that some things may never happen, but somehow I was content. This still isn't working out, but parts of my problem are becoming less severe. I think it may have something to do with the fact that I'm beginning to care less... and listen to my BBS friends like Nicole and Rob, who I can actually talk to, and they counsel me a lot. I super heart you guys.
I might stop using this blog. Or greatly reduce my postings. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do. But I need something private. I'm too lazy to write, so I rarely do that... Typing has been my outlet. I like typing out all of these emotions and "getting them out there," but I never have been too comfortable with people that I personally know reading my entries.
I got *thinks* five new bras? Hooray for my mommy.
The more I think about Saturday, the more I look forward to it. Saturday are my allstate auditions (BLAH!), but from 8:45-11:16 I am running 11th and 12th grade alto saxophones. I picked this category because of Nick (from... Central Gwinnett?... from the last festival in Athens). We had a short thing... and I want a longer one. But still short and physical. Yep. So I have to check and see when his audition is... and if I can get him to stick around until I get off from "working"... (running the score sheets), and maybe we'll go out to lunch or something. I will be bold.
Tomorrow Kristy and I are definitely going to the Mall of Georgia and to see Orange County, and I look forward to that, because I've vented a lot on her lately... I feel remotely bad, but she says it's fine and she does it to me anyway. I don't really trust her for the most part, but I really like the fact that I can just put all of my stuff out there with her. And I think it's because I know that she's indifferent to everything I say and that she only cares because it has something to do with me.
Then hopefully everything's still okay for Sunday. If it's not, I will be incredibly mad, because I reserved those CNN tour slots, and if we don't make it, that's money that I have to freaking pull out of my pocket for... nothing.
I should go. I haven't broken my New Year's Resolution yet... Jackass in 20 minutes. I suppose I'll rise early to shower and fake my physics. *shrug* But does it really matter in there? Not yet. Monday it will matter. And that's what I have Saturday night for. OHHHHHHHHHH maybe I could go out with Nick Saturday night. He is a hottie...

2002-01-08T21:59:00.000-05:00

I Like My Sugar With Coffee and Cream

Soundwaves::"Hey Ladies" Beastie Boys
AIM::Meghan, Matt (Groves), guy from Impossibles MB

My mother went out on a limb today... and I accepted her sincerity. I really did. I could have been a bitch about having to sacrifice my trip to Boston (MIKEY! GAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! <3!!!!!) for Spring Break... but my mother has become very aware of the priority of getting her grandmother's ashes in Lake Tarpon. And she needs me there. It's going to be a horrible day when she has to face that, but it will be good that I'm there. I guess Boston can wait... No, I know it can. This also gives me an edge over summer privileges. Look out... Leftcoast... Here I Come.

Kristy and I decided in the car today that all I really need is a guy to make out with. *nod* Yep. Come on, line up fellas. I'm ready. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's been so long and I really am so pathetic. I'll just be random and attack someone. That's seemed to work all of the... three times it's happened.
Wait! CONTRADICTION! Haha... what happened to me wanting emotional support? *shrug* I am inconsistent. This all just adds to the fact that... I am one big jumbled mess, and I am incredibly hostile. I nearly lost it in Latin... I really need to watch myself. I wish I still had Mrs. Parks to call me a cynic and laugh at me in that supportive type of way. It's really weird... I seem to have this keen ability to know whose efforts are sincere and whose aren't.

The game tonight was fair. I saw Kory. He looks good, and he really seems to be enjoying himself in the Marines. I like his little naval tattoo. I love people like him so much. If anyone wants to clue me in on the final score, that'd be nice.

Welps, I'm off to find movie listings for Friday. Here's to better days...

2002-01-07T22:22:00.000-05:00

I Don't Blame You If You Never Come to See Me Here Again

take the which weezer member are you test!

Soundwaves::"Lullabye" Ben Folds Five
AIM::Umm... no one!

You know... listening to sad Ben Folds Five when you're sad usually isn't good... and I'm holding back these tears, but I have a feeling that they're going to come anyway and there's no use in wasting energy anymore. I will be okay. Honestly. It's just going to take a long time... and I think that I'm beginning to realize this and I'm overbooking myself.

Brandon (Fraka) diagnosed me a while ago. He knows what's wrong. I'm not allowing myself any time to confront the things which bother me about me and just about... stuff. I'm concentrating all of my other time on school work, shows, work, practically wearing myself out with my schedule. Which is fine to me, because I don't allow myself time to think about all of this mess. He says he MAKES time. Consequently, there is a lot in his life that he neglects: i.e., school, his family... but he seems to be a little bit better off. And I envy that. But I just want to hold him in my arms anyway.

But, as I started to do at the end of last semester... keeping myself so busy is good. I don't confront things (practically ever), and I'd just rather not worry about them. So this week's schedule seems to be nice... Tomorrow I might make a cameo at my first EVER BHS basketball game (nice, I gave Alex Weeks the "hook up" today at work... lol)... then Wednesday I have Jazz Band and I really could stand to practice for All-State on Saturday... then Thursday I work, and Friday Kristy, maybe Nicki and I are going to go to see Orange County right after school, do a quick run at the mall so I can spend my Fast Cash at Express, and then stop by Ryan's swim meet (?)... *shrug* Then Saturday I work all day at All-State at the school, and I'm running Junior/Senior Alto Saxes (hoping to see Nick... kid I made out with at festival last year *purr*), then doing my tryouts. And Sunday is the Inspection 12 show with Matt and Heidi. So it looks like things will be good. But that's never dependable.
I forgot to mention my spur of the moment semi-date with Clay. It was a great deal of fun... hahaha... I threw a small pity party for myself, and we went to the mall. I spent a deal of money, talked to Brian (PacSun guy), and he asked me if I was wearing my Paul Frank panties. :-X Duh! Of course I was! ;-) But only for him... aaaaaaaahhhh... hehe.
Good things to come out of this sudden pit... I've been writing. And everything's horrible, but it's so great to be myself in that aspect now. And I feel like it's more real, because I'm pulling more from my every day life... if I write something super, I may just post it here. Depending on content, of course. :)
As my blogger seems to be broken, I'll simply say that I appreciate everyone's concern with my well-being. But there's just something that I really need right now which I'll have to find on my own. *sigh* It's going to be a long semester.
No one deserves you like I do.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I *so* suck.

2002-01-05T00:57:00.000-05:00

A Feeling Coming Over Me

Soundwaves::"Picture in the Paper" The New Amsterdams
AIM::Harris, Clay, Taly :)

I think it's pretty obvious right now that I am not happy.
And I don't see this getting better. Talking to Taly is helping. But I don't like unloading things so big on people. But then I keep them in. And it's bad. And I wonder who cares. Because it's obvious that my mother doesn't.
The power went out at work. I fell. Times are not good.
Not good.
School's not helping.
This semester being my last semester that counts is not helping. All-State being the 12th isn't helping.
Patrick (the new guy that sits by me at lunch) is very appealing... *smacks self in forehead* And mute.

Okay. I'm ready. Here's what's bothering me. Rob is going to absolutely hate me for talking about this here, but that's all right. He knows I care about him and I respect his ideas, but sometimes I have to unload.
I am completely stressed out. All right... what am I going to do now? What am I going to do in a year and a half? I've just completely assumed that things will happen... I will find that perfect moment at my Senior prom, I will be accepted into the college which I want to attend... everything will happen how it's supposed to. Things will fall into place. And things are looking so unlikely right now... Georgia Tech... my GPA has fallen to a 3.5 at best, average there is 3.8, SAT scores will be in the bottom of their 1200-1450 range, ACT might actually fall where it needs to be... We were talking about this in PreCal today, and I guess I didn't realize how true this is... What am I going to do if I don't get into GT? My standards are too high to let myself graduate from any other school in this state. Well, public school, at least. I don't have the money, scholarships, or will to get myself in $120,000 of debt by attending school out of state... and I may even have to cover my $5,800 room and board.
And if things romantically continue at this rate... I really don't know what I'll do with myself. My friends have been supportive, but not really consistent. I've never really had someone in my life to point out the good things about me... where I wouldn't question them... I've never had it. I'm insanely jealous of those who do and I don't think I'll get over this until I get it. I don't find the possibilities of having any of this anywhere anymore... and, shit, I made myself cry. >:P (I hate typing this and knowing that people actually read it... because I feel like I'm screaming out at them... when I'm not... It's just... this is what I'm thinking... don't pity me because of it.)
Back to boys... I know that there emotionally is a lot wrong with me. I don't trust people with my emotions and feel that they are the safest with me... so I don't give them out too easily. This would explain why my friend pool has decreased by about half. And also, I'm really tired of a lot of my band friends not supporting other things that I'm into. I've sensed this, and I've distanced myself. So what? That's not too big of a deal... but being left out in a lot of things has contributed to this mood. It never hurts for some people to ask me what I'm up to, but a lot of times... that doesn't happen.
This next semester makes or breaks my college career.

This blog has no flow. But I've been talking to so many people on IM.

2002-01-03T23:38:00.000-05:00

I Just Wanted You To Know

Soundwaves::"Brick" Ben Folds - Live @ Chapel... HE TALKS ABOUT ME IN THIS SONG... well... in the Q&A, my Aussie SUPER friend Krystel asked him what he thought about my preparation H sign... and he says, and I quote this whole thing...
Krystel: Um, just a question, a few of our friends in the states they bring signs along to your shows, particularly Kari's Preparation H sign...
Ben: Right.
Krystel: ...How do you like react to things like that, it's a hemorrhoid joke and they're coming along with signs
Ben: Signs that have Preparation H on it...
Krystel: Yeah...
Ben: That's pretty good. The "You suck and get off the stage" one kind of hurt my feelings. "Go home and I want my money back," and...
AIM::N/A... Chat room. :-D

So today was SNOW DAY!!!! EEEEEE!!! Snow Day Pics. Yeah. So that's what I did all day today.
Brief interruption by Ryan. He stalled my from making my grilled cheese. And we were alone outside for a while... but things are so fizzled it's not even funny. I wonder what happened. *ponder* Doesn't matter to me.
I have this horrible feeling that I'm going to go and wake up at 5:45 and stare at the TV to see that Gwinnett County schools have been closed, and not be able to go back to sleep. Bastards.
Jebodiah is the BEST SNOWMAN EVER! Eeeeeee yes!

Upcoming shows: 1/13/02 - Inspection 12 @ Somber Reptile (show with Matt and Heidi)
1/20/02 - Catch 22, Suicide Machines, Poison the Well @ Cotton Club (show with Jeremy hopefully)
2/3/02 - Further Seems Forever, One Line Drawing @ Under the Couch (show with Amber?)
3/10/02 - NOFX, Mad Caddies, Frenzal Rhomb, Inspection 12 @ Masquerade (show with Jeremy)

La la la... I'm talking to Matt now. He's great. I love how punk rock he is and how much my momma likes him. Hahaha. That's great. It's just... "So greatly great," as the wonderful Dan Regan would say.
But kiddies, it is midnight, and I do have school tomorrow. Or at least I have to act like it.

2002-01-03T00:39:00.000-05:00

I Won't Live in the Past

Soundwaves::"I Packed My Bags" Curbside Service
AIM::No one... errr Mikey *just* IMed me. :-D

So I've spent completely all of my day either sleeping, eating, watching TV or being at the computer. The snow is not allowing school tomorrow, and I have very mixed reactions about that. This takes Good Friday away from me, but I think I'll use it as a travel day anyway, and just miss that day of school. *sigh* Oh welps.
I put most of my pictures up. Look at them here. If you're intelligent and would like to see pictures of either my excursion with my SUPER friends Matt and Heidi or group pictures of New Year's at Ryan's... go to the Personal section. My Curbside Service pictures are up in the Other Bands section. They came out really good. I love having this digital camera thing. The other pictures are where they belong. Duh. :)
I saw Whitney earlier today... she's up to about my size. She looks good how she is. So much healthier and happier. I'm really jealous of her nose piercing.
I don't really have much to say. Mmmyep.

2002-01-02T03:40:00.000-05:00

Punk Rock to the Nth Power!

Soundwaves::"Tired of Sex" =Weezer=
AIM::Proz (Nicole!)

Tonight was a very good night. And it's now 3:12 in the AM, and I got home roughly fifty minutes ago. A blog seems to be... appropriate.

New Year's... went over to Ryan's... relatively uneventful but very fun. Here is where the Draydel fascination began. And it continued through tonight with various different people. But it was a good time. I really liked that Ryan had called me and invited me over... it made me feel very warm and special inside. The details are in the others' blogs... so I feel no need to simply restate what they said. After everyone left, Ryan, Patrick and I hung out until Ryan's daddy (I LOVE HIS PARENTS) decided to take us home. Not a whole lot was going on... I just felt very natural and normal with Ryan in the type of situation and place that we were in. Being around him like that sort of makes me realize how easy going he is (or can be) and that things seem to be getting lots better with him, which makes me happy and excited and... happy. I was like laying on the big couch and he was sitting on the other side of it, and the kitty was at my feet and he was petting it. It was just really nice. And I just wish that every day could always be like that. Then I hugged Ryan's mommy coz she rocks the funk. I'm not even going to approach the situation which is being argued, because I have very strong opinions about it. And I'm nice.

Tonight! Well, wait. New Year's, my buddies from Alabama (Matt and his girlfriend Heidi) were supposed to go to Athens and stop by after the show. But they called me at work and didn't realize how far away Athens was from Tuscaloosa. So instead, tonight! we went to some punky festy thing at the Somber Reptile, where two good bands played. I took me lots of pictures, I gave Matt a draydel (I'm gonna spell it like that!)... I was the youngest person at a party (AT A TECH BOY'S APARTMENT! WOO!) and probably could have gotten really drunk. I got Matt lost (285 is NOT fun when you go the wrong way and end up on the southside of Atlanta on 85) a few times, actually, but I gave him a $10 for gas compensation and love. I really admire him. He's a great guy and I think his hair scared the shit out of my mother. He and Heidi are very adorable and any of my hopes or desires of... getting him are gone because of how awesome of a person she is. I didn't feel like a third wheel, we had lots of fun (I thought). I took pictures of Curbside Service, a whole mess of them with my digicam, and I'll have them up here sometime in the PM hours when I decide to wake up. We ate at Steak and Shake and Matt drew me a picture. I shall treasure it with my life. And they played Oasis in between bands and he and I magically knew all of the words from our grade school years. I had great fun. They're supposedly coming back on the 11th so we can go downtown and stuff and see the Cartoon Network studios.

I'm a little happier. But this depressive mood is seeming to stick a little too much. I think it has a lot to do with the amount of time that I'm spending at work, and that school is about to interfere again. So I don't see it getting much better. Matt and Heidi on the 11th though. That will be good.

2001-12-30T22:50:00.000-05:00

Why You Wanna Go and Do Me Like That?

come down on the street and dance with me...

Sound waves::"The Good Life" =Weezer=
AIM::Harris

Wheeeeee. Sometimes it's really bad to be so down. Mmmyep. A whole lot of not good things are going on. The Impossibles are officially over for good, and that makes me sad. Matt is supposed to be coming Wednesday, and I sent him that email... which he read last night. No reply. No call. So I doubt he's coming. (Why does this always seem to happen to me?) I think I scared my friend from Hot Topic off. His name's Cory, (not Josh) and he IMed me today... said he had been out of town all week and he just got back. That's a little warming, but our conversation wasn't anything special. At all.
No plans for New Years. And no one really seems to be making any with me... so I'm working until 5 and I'll probably just watch TV. Again. I've never done anything special for NYE. I know that Melisa is having a party, because Chuck said he was going ... and I saw her today at work with her whole family, and no one seemed to ask. I guess everyone thinks I have better things to do. But I don't.
I'm finished with Ryan. I'm going to say it here. And I mean it here. Unless something changes... I'm not going to bother with him anymore. I've wasted too much time and have made my head hurt too much over his dumbness. Well, not dumbness necessarily... just his inconsistency.
I think my great UK friend, Rob, isn't talking to me.
I made a new AIM friend the other night over the Impossibles break up. He seems like a super rad guy... though I really do suck and we never talk about anything interesting.
I don't want to go back to school. There are a lot of reasons sitting behind that... but one pretty dominant one. Yeah. And I won't go into it here because I never want to go into it ever again.
I'm getting sick. Too much work+cold=sniffles.
Please come Wednesday, Matt. Please. PLEASE EMAIL R7DIRTBAGS@CS.COM and get on their mailing list, say Kari told you to do it, get me in their music video.
"At ten I shaved my head and tried to be a monk."

2001-12-28T22:28:00.000-05:00

They Want Me to Be Their Boyfriend

Soundwaves::"Super Hero #5" Reel Big Fish
AIM::Amber, Mikey (well, he's eating, but his IM is still open)

Woohoo... Five days. Maybe I am taking Rob's advice and stopping writing in here so much. I've just been so busy and so tired that I haven't really found the time. Nor is there much interesting happening in my life. I'm spending some good time with friends, and that's nice. Thursday (wow, that was yesterday) I was supposed to play frisbee, but Enbar and I decided that we needed the whole day at the mall. I spent $140 and I love how I spent every penny of it. Or at least, what I spent it on. Especially the bookbag. It's grown on me, I've sewn some patches on it, and I love it now. As ugly as it may be. The gang (whee!) met us for lunch and Ryan and I escaped to go buy the horrendous bookbag and look at some of his crazy shoes. My affection for him is definitely dwindling. I just... can't stand his extremes. I know he has problems, and they're serious, but if he doesn't come to me with them, I don't want to betray his trust and go around him. He can be so cold. And it can so directly be aimed at me, but then he changes it too. It's just... *growl*
But the mall... I think perhaps the most pleasant part of the day (besides spending all of that time with Enbar) was running into all of my non everyday life friends. I saw Josh and Jason, who I know from shows... You know, us crazy emo kids go to all of the shows that come here, so we always see each other. Josh and I had a very nice conversation about stretching out the earholes... and I felt like I knew what I was talking about because my Hot Topic guy gave me the run down since I want tunnels in two holes. So I gave Josh the run down. He wants plugs and he just got his ears pierced. I really didn't think that anything was going to come out of me seeing him, because he never seems to interested in me at shows, but he asked for my AIM... and I gave it to him. I have yet to hear word from him, though. The guy that worked at that Hot Topic who denied me the $9.99 price for the Thursday CD was very... cute... and emo. I liked that.
I emailed Matt about Wednesday, but I don't really know what's up with that.
THERE IS A SHOW before the NOFX show! *RELIEVED SIGH* Hahah it's Further Seems Forever and One Line Drawing @ Under the Couch, and it occurs on February the 3rd. Thank god it's a weekend show... sort of. That's a Sunday. *growl* And Josh told me it was a Saturday! Ah well. I'll still manage.
Not much else to write about... if this week's paycheck isn't over $100, I'll cry. I'm limiting myself Wednesday if I actually do go to Five Points... I'm only going to let myself spend $80. I'll probably just buy some Paul Frank stuff and if I find another surprise for Mikey for his second semester Exam Survival Pack.
I don't want to blog anymore.
I wonder where everyone is tonight.
Oh... I need all of you to help me get in Royal 7's music video. Email R7dirtbags@cs.com and ask to join their mailing list and say that Kari the Dirtbag sent you. And that you love me and stuff. I have to get lots of people to join their email list and then me and two other peoples can be in their video in the spring. *dances* I love Royal 7. I shot pictures of them when they opened for Ozma, if you remember me freaking out about it. Hehe. Thanks. :)

2001-12-22T22:41:00.000-05:00

This is So Good it Must Be Fattening

Soundwaves::"3,720 to 1" The Benjamins <- when I started typing this... "Hell Yes" Alkaline Trio <- now
AIM::Matt Ray=really awesome, Meghan, Mikey ......... (now I is offline!)

*ponders* So I have realtively no clue as to when my last update of this was. Wait. Yes I do. I'm just tired and it's in the wee hours of the morning and work is... a lot. Much, much, MUCH blahing. I don't have a day off until Christmas... and then after that I don't have a day off until, well, I don't know yet. *sigh* But I am hurting for the money. And I have nothing else to do.
-------
Yesterday in the mail I got perhaps the best thing ever from my buddy Matt Ray. This is the Davey Havok like guy from the (International) Noise Conspiracy show. He lives in Alabama. Oi, he is great. Haha... he sent me this big carepackage with two Less Than Jake posters, a No Use For a Name poster and a CD-R of Invader Zim episdoes and great things. He's coming over on January 2 (*squeak!*) and I have to figure out things for us to do. I'm going to have to be very entertaining. I can't lose this one. Though he does have a girlfriend, he seems to have some undertones toward me... and he is coming alone. I should bring a girl for safety, but I think I trust this one. Plus I don't want any other girl to steal him from me. Bad experiences. Teehee. :) I figure we'll go to Five Points, do the traditional punk rock thing (he's so punk rock! he has his hair cut all like he can style it in a mohawk, but he didn't have it like that...). Hopefully we'll just have fun with each other. Ah.
So Nicole's party was absolutely great... I had a whole lot of fun. My only gripe was the movie. I am not a fantasy lover AT ALL (whee... who'da guessed? Hahaha), so I had a whole list of problems with the movie. It was good, don't get me wrong... just incredibly computer generated. To make things worse, we missed about the first twenty minutes of the movie (Lord of the Rings, btw), and I hadn't read the books, so I was incredibly lost and stayed lost for all of the movie. If it weren't for that pixie arrow shootin' guy. Hahaha. But I really wish that Nicole, Ryan, and Laura had been in our theatre. I wanted someone to really talk to about the movie, and no offense to Patrick, but I didn't exactly feel comfortable telling him how hot I thought the blonde guy was. Heehee. I did express my frustration with him when that one guy WOULDN'T DIE. Dammit. I think the people to the left of me hated me, because I made all of these hand motions and stuff. Nutty.
The present exchange was the best part of the night! Maybe, except for dinner... heehee... it was really fun for me not to know what was going on and for Ryan to be in the same boat sitting by me. He is so cynical. I love it. Though sometimes it worries me, I don't know. His side comments were some of the best I've heard from him EVER. Hahaha. He got me an ocarina (if I spelled that right). It's cute... hahaha and it makes me laugh. I like how I didn't even get him anything and he still thought of me. I'll figure all of this out by the summer, I've decided. I will know what is up between us as we go into our Senior year. But I'm wasting time...
TOILET PAPER is a GOOD THING... haha. Thanks Laura. :)
Thursday I didn't do much of anything... I was called out of work (it's SO slow), so I started working on this... My new foto gallery. I think it's finished for now, just none of the actual pictures are up (so don't click on the links). Web site-ing is a bitch and it makes me angry.
Yesterday (Friday) was a great day. Work was awesome, I had lots of fun talking to Jaclyn and Shantae and stuff... when it's that slow, you really get to know your co-workers. Clay stopped by earlier in the day and delivered my beautimous Paul Frank underwears (which you can BET YOUR BUTT I'm wearing now) and I kept him a little too long. *shrug* I was aware of the time... haha it was his fault! But Clay rules... yeah. I'm starting to see him more as a friend, and I think he is too. Still a semester left. Hope we end up the best of buds.
I WISH I had gone to watch the movie with the group, but I'm sort of glad I stayed home... cuz I got Matt's package and watched most of the CD and just had so much fun doing relatively nothing.
Today I put up Matt's posters in my room... I talked to him late last night... and I'm preparing my room (and also NOT EATING) for his visit. My mom didn't really seem to mind. She's so... crazy. She yells at me and makes me do stuff and then I don't feel like doing it and she yells at me but comes into my room and tells me all of this personal stuff and I just listen. *sigh* I want Christmas NOW. And I want Hot Date from the Sims. NOW. I'm so impatient. I have a feeling I'm going to be disappointed this year. Am I really that spoiled? Eek. I don't know. There are just a few things that I really, really, REALLY want to get. I'll be alright. Whaaatever.
I MISS MIKEY! Dammit.

2001-12-18T19:32:00.000-05:00

The Keyboard is With Me

Soundwaves::"Sweetness" Jimmy Eat World
AIM::N/A (whoooo! i don't exist!)

Recap of the week... even though it's only Tuesday.

Sunday
Physics study group at Nicole's casa. It was more like Physics some people copy/correct group. I had fun. I actually learned how to do some stuff. Too bad I haven't been paying attention this semester. Or the last half of it. When I realized that I didn't really like my teacher. Umm... Ryan aggravated me a lot on this day. He told me that my CD was okay... which isn't good from him... and I don't know what I'm going to do. I mean, I try and try and I really just... don't seem to get through. I am SO FRUSTRATED. Like that one poem I wrote... "I am at an impass in life..." BIG FAT BLAH! But watching M2 and MTVX and Much Music on Nicole's TV was fun... I even saw the Hives. Hawlin'=WAY HOTT! Teeheehee!

Monday
First day of exams got off to a real nice start with our Physics exam. Hard as crap. Seriously. I was just really lost through most of it. The multiple choice was okay (I probably passed), but the open response was a completely different story. English exam was easy, just lengthy. I'm pretty sure that I secured my A in there... no curve balls. The only things I didn't really remember were some grammar stuff... ah well. Can't hurt me too bad. After school I went to the mall with Patty and we shopped and I saw PacSun guy (Brian) and the day was wholely good. I got home and on this thing to find out that Mikey had indeed gotten my package and he said he didn't deserve it. I concurred, of course, and still do. He has to be the greatest guy ever. Except for around exams times. Because he doesn't talk. *shakes fist* I should have been like him and studied.... but....

Today
Oh geez. Math exam. I was completely lost. Hahaha... I was supposed to wake up at 4:30 to study until 6 (when Patty was gonna come over to cook breakfast), but I didn't wake up until she rang the doorbell at 6. That was a problem. I remembered how to do VERY LITTLE on that exam and it troubled me. I'm hoping to make an 87 in that class now. And I was so close to the A.
Latin wasn't very difficult for me, but that doesn't mean that I did well on it. I had no idea what was going on for most of it... just sort of guessed and used my mad crazy english skillz to pull me through it. Maybe I passed it? I doubt it. What is passing, anyway? A 70? Urrrrg.... hahaha I probably didn't pass it. *smacks forehead* And that's my easiest class, too. I had probably an 85 or so going into the final. I really doubt I did horribly enough on it to pull me down to a C... but if that happened, I really just don't know what I'd do with myself. I'm sorry, but I really think homework is STUPID when it's freaking translations.
After School
I waited around with Nicole for Caleb (by his locker), because I had a neat little card to give him with a =w= decal inside of it... but he never really came. So I gave up and got my stuff from the band room... and when we double checked by his locker, I saw him walking out of the double doors to go to the Commons Area! Agh! So I chased after him (I'm good at doing that) and gave him the card, told him to open it, he was really excited about the decal. He also told me that he had listened to the CD that I made him during his English exam and that made me happy. Our coversation was good, until perhaps one of the saddest things ever happened... He was telling me to have a Merry Christmas, and whatever... and then I was all, "Yeah, well, I'll see you tomorrow, so I'll talk to you then..." and then he said that after that I probably wouldn't see him! Umm!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!! ???????? Yeah. So I freaked out and started walking back toward him asking him why and stuff. He's going back to his old school (Walton?) for second semester because he's behind in his credits for math and can't graduate on time at Berkmar. Talk about WRENCHING MY HEART OUT OF MY CHEST AND STEPPING ON IT! I am so stinking heartbroken. How much does that suck? Not only for me, but for him! Poor guy! I really feel like he likes it here and seeing him every day makes me so happy. I told him to email me and that we'd go hang out next time Weezer comes... but he still hasn't emailed me since I gave him my address with the CD... *sigh* So that's not very reliable. At all. But I don't know what else to do, really, unless I ask him for his... so I gave him a hug and it was all sad and he sort of held onto me and gave me a nice one handed hug. *pout* I mean, seriously. How many people have I lost lately? Too many. Way too many. Just lots of bad times everywhere...
But then, to slap me in the face, the rest of my day (up to now) was a great deal of fun. I went to the mall with WAY too many people (Julian, Abby, Patrick, Craig, Enbar, Ryan, Laura, Nicole, Teej, and Laura M.... hahah did I leave anyone out?) and had a lot of fun there, though it was mostly just me and Nicole wandering through PacSun as I conversed with my friend/pssssted at him. :) He yelled at me again for not buying anything. When I say yell, I don't mean that he yelled, that's just me talking. I beat up Craig because he was making me angry, and he and Ryan had a good deal of fun making fun of me on the way back to the car when we magically lost it. I like them. They're good people. I generally feel out of place with the group sometimes, when it's all together, but I am very at ease in small clusters. The car ride to and from the mall was a good deal of fun for me... Craig is insane and to see Ryan actually happy when they're just talking about cars and stuff... it feels very normal. They make me feel like a teenager. I need more stuff like that. With all of this studying and working and my old friends makes me feel just... OLD. Gah! I'm 16!
Then we went back to Julian's and I played Mario Kart twice and I won both times... but I played against the girls (Nicole, Laura) and no offense, guys, but you know we suck. :) Hahaha.
I bought a 14 gauge earring at the mall today, but my plan has been delayed since MY FIFTH HOLE in me left ear ISN'T HEALED YET... so it's hard to put a new earring in there when the back exit or whatever isn't healed/confirmed. Haha.

I've seen Robby too much lately (last year's only boyfriend, for those that don't know). He looks... not as attractive as I remember him. Something with his teeth... I think he hasn't been wearing his retainers.
Tomorrow is going to be a sad, sad day. Except for it's the last day of school and Nicole's birthday party.
But there's no getting through to Ryan. No matter how much I try to make him happy, he just isn't. I'm really ready to give up and waste my time on other things... but then he goes and throws me off by leaning his head on mine (I AM A SUCKER FOR THAT! STOP DOING IT! IT'S GREAT!) as we peered in to see Nicole's birthday present. I want to randomly hold his hand... and the movies are interesting environments for things like this to happen, but the closer I get to Laura, the more concious I am of myself around him and I just feel like I'm holding back sometimes.
Bad week.
Bad times.
It's almost over. But then it only starts again...

2001-12-16T12:39:00.000-05:00

And I... I Don't Care About You... Woo-hoo!

Soundwaves::"Alternative is Dead" Suburban Legends
AIM::*chirping crickets*

Hello, beautiful blog readers of mine! I felt like I'd post this because I'm dumb. Yep. My last few entries have been really funny, so make sure you check out the archives for the great AIM conversation between Mikey and I. I'm going to go and do some research stuff on my flights for April... my grandmother wants me to try to get out to Long Island, too. If I could do that, it'd be good... since I really only need a week in Boston, I'll have a few extra days... *ponder* Mother didn't seem to protest my idea. Maybe it will happen.
Physics study group today... can't wait... I know I'm going to bomb the final, so I need these points from the AP problems. I so hate Physics.
Hopefully I won't be around much until Thursday or so. If I am online too much, someone please kick me really swiftly in the ass.

I thought that this playlsit stuff was fun! So here's mine... hehehe I love my Winamp skin... it's the boys of Suburban Legends... if you're into very RBFish ska, you'll love these fellows. They're embraced by Aaron Barrett, the lead singer of RBF, as "the best new ska band." www.suburbanlegends.com

1. Jimmy Eat World - The Middle
2. Ben Folds - Bizarre Christmas Incident
3. Ben Folds - Hiro's Song
4. Ben Folds - Make Me Mommy
5. Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American
6. Jimmy Eat World - Sweetness
7. Suburban Legends - Desperate
8. Millard Powers - Simple Thing
9. Movielife, The - Pinky Swear
10. Mr. T Experience - Tapin' Up My Heart
11. Millard Powers - Pamela
12. Weezer - Teenage Victory Song
13. Weezer - The Christmas Song
14. Weezer - Theif, You've Taken All That Was Me
15. Aquabats!, The - My Skateboard!
16. Aquabats!, The - Magic Chicken!
17. Aquabats!, The - Captain Hampton & The Midget Pirates
18. Atom and His Package - Happy Birthday Ralph
19. Atom and His Package - He Kissed Me (Rock Version)
20. Ataris, The - Looking Back on Today (Compilation Version)
21. Cake - Stickshifts and Safetybelts
22. Cake - Short Skirt Long Jacket
23. Cake - Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps
24. Blind Melon - No Rain
25. Cure, The - Lovecats
26. Impossibles, The - So Much
27. Homegrown - Too Many Stops
28. Hippos, The - Beats Don't Stop (Demo)
29. Impossibles, The - This is Fucking Tragic
30. Kara's Flowers - Simple Kind of Lovely
31. Little T and One Track Mike - Shaniqua
32. Kara's Flowers - The Great Getaway
33. Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - Leaving on a Jet Plane
34. Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - My Favorite Things
35. No Doubt and Sublime - Total Hate '95
36. No Doubt - DJs (Sublime Cover)
37. No Motiv - Going Numb
38. Ozma - Iceland
39. Ozma - Game Over (Live)
40. Ozma - Eponine (Live)
41. Reel Big Fish - Ban the Tube Top (Live)
42. Reggie and the Full Effect - Another Runaway Song
43. Reel Big Fish - What Are Friends For? (Live)
44. Reel Big Fish - This One's For You (Live)
45. Something Corporate - If I Die
46. Something Corporate - Constantine (Live)
47. Something Corporate - Cavanaugh Park (Live)
48. Suburban Legends - Don Juan
49. Suburban Legends - Da Bomb
50. The Stereo - New Tokyo is Calling
51. The Stereo - Just a Game
52. The Stereo - I Confess to all This Mess
53. Suburban Legends - Alternative is Dead
54. Suburban Legends - All the Nights
55. Suburban Legends - Wai-Kiki

2001-12-16T03:31:00.000-05:00

Mmmmmmyep.

KariFullOfGoo: I need to make you one of these... http://www.angelfire.com/on2/ballsSQUAD/images/SuperID.JPG
kayrock29: hahaha
kayrock29: that is so cool.
KariFullOfGoo: I made my friend give those to them.
KariFullOfGoo: Too bad I wasn't there... bastards.
KariFullOfGoo: I think everyone got one except for Danny. And I stole a hippo for him from wal-mart.
KariFullOfGoo: I made them a big carebucket.
kayrock29: you are the best fan ever.
KariFullOfGoo: *sigh* I guess
kayrock29: when im a rock star, you can be my #1 fan.
KariFullOfGoo: Why do I have to wait for you to be a rockstar?
KariFullOfGoo: Hahaha I almost typed cockstar... that was pretty classic.
kayrock29: would have been funny too.
kayrock29: okay. you can be my #1 fan before im a rock star.
KariFullOfGoo: Which would be... when?
kayrock29: um.. an undetermined point in the near future.
KariFullOfGoo: I'll make you a shirt. Well, I'll make me a shirt that says, "Mikey's #1 Fan" on the back of it. Like I did for Dan... when he told me I could be his #1 fan.
kayrock29: yes! i own georgia.
KariFullOfGoo: You'd better actually give me this privelage.
KariFullOfGoo: Haaaaahahaha that was so great and random.
KariFullOfGoo: That quote gets saved.
kayrock29: really? hahah. where to?
KariFullOfGoo: My blog, I guess.
KariFullOfGoo: I usually send exciting snippits of our IMs to Lisa.
kayrock29: oh really.
KariFullOfGoo: And she laughs at me because I'm stupid.
KariFullOfGoo: Yes, but not BU Lisa.
kayrock29: she does?
kayrock29: i know.
KariFullOfGoo: Yeah.
KariFullOfGoo: But it's usually more like... "Awwwwwww!"

2001-12-16T00:55:00.000-05:00

Right From the Start You Were a Challenge to Me

Soundwaves::"Bleed American" Jimmy Eat World
AIM::Chelsea, Leia, Ryan (windows still open, last one not talking)

What a great night to make a horrible week seem... well... it was still bad... but not so horrible. Ahhhhhhh. Exams. *pulls out hair* Why am I not studying? Because it's Saturday.
I got Christmas shopping entirely out of the way... well, I still have to get Patty some stuff, and I'd really like to buy Nicki something... but here's what I got.
1. Mother: Complete Idiot's Guide to Zen Living, a Bonsai Garden, and a Noah's Ark Candle
2. Father: Ford metal thermometer thing...
3. Brother: $50
4. Patty: Mullet Calendar, some photo dividors, maybe a Moz shirt.
5. Mikey: The PUSA shirt and various other things.
6. Enbar: *surprise*
7. Nicole: Birthday/x-mas surprise that SHE HAS TO LET ME WATCH, or I refuse to give it to her. Hahaha. Buying things for your friends that you really want really sucks. Especially when they only have ONE at Borders. :) But Christmas is for giving...
8. Clay: Possibly the greatest shirt ever... hahaha it says "Don't fart near open flames" on it. He's going to love it. I bought it at PacSun... more about that following...

So today was a rather long day. I was woken up in the wee hours of the morning to go Christmas shopping with my father. We were detoured and picked up mine and Joy's fruit from school... then went to the mall. At Pacific Sunwear I saw my guy, whose name I still don't really know. He was happy to see me and immediately pointed very excited-like to my shoes (checkered Vans slip-ons) and said that they had just gotten those in yesterday and now they're in stock. Then I found out they had the 3-packs of Paul Frank panties and he said he knew that I'd love those.... I teased him about how great that was and he was like, "Well we got all that Paul Frank stuff in for you!" And I got oh so excited. He is so nice and I would like to marry him.
Speaking of men in retail... Shane was in a very bitchy mood tonight at Borders. I can only imagine it is because of their great traffic during the holiday season... Patty left him a note on his car, which I helped write. :-D Oh, he needs to treat her like she deserves to be treated. I love Patty so much. She is awesome.
Mikey is being very great as well. Sometimes I have my doubts about him, but he always turns around and does great things like apologizing for sucking. I have so much admiration and just... respect for this kid. He's the best. Honestly. Hands down. (hahaha! YES! DC!) But he goes to the Throwdown because he's in the Hometown and that makes me envy his location and makes me want to be there even more.
I was Michael Nicholson tonight! SPAZZ! I heart him so much.... it was great to randomly see him at Target... I wish I could have stayed with him, but my mother would have freaked out. He is so rad, he just took me in both arms and hugging him is an entity all in itself. So perfect.

Here's my Christmas wishlist... (if I do not get these things, I will get them myself):
1. That DAMN ZIP UP SWEATER at Pacific Sunwear... the really chunky purple one... or the green one.
2. Paul Frank panties.
3. New bookbag. *tear* I really didn't want to have to get another one... I think I want a pink jansport.... I don't know yet. It depends on my purse.
4. Paul Frank watch.
5. One of the vinyl purses from Fossil. I'm feeling the orange one a lot.
6. A haircut.
7. Those green glasses frames at Sam's Club.
8. An emo boyfriend. Well, either an emo boyfriend or a ska boyfriend. Or a punk rock boyfriend. Or a certain boy who lives far away. Or just anyone. Really. I'm not picky. Just someone. Come on. Complete Kari. She needs it. Deserves it maybe, too. Just do it now.

We caused some great ruckus at Target. It eventually involved running into Michael N. and Mr. Sargent, buying the thermometer for my father, an icee, getting rejected by a boy, and talking to others. Patty also bought me the greatest plastic visor... one of those clear colored ones that Johnny Knoxville wears sometimes, and the cheesy casino card dealers from the 50's wore. :) It was $2 and I'm going to wear it to the next show that I go to. I am so pathetic. And I made a mess on the toothpaste isle. Ask only if you would really like to know....

2001-12-13T22:41:00.000-05:00

Soundwaves::The sound of my heart racing...
AIM::Rachel (heart!)

I've edited a lot of stuff around here... reasons are very various... if you really would like to know I'll tell you. The long and short of it: I need to watch what I say. And I just now have realized the affects of some of my words and I'm dealing with them firsthand and making sure now that things like that will never happen again. For my sake and that of others.
Thanks for those of you that have been there... I appreciate it perhaps more than I'd be able to say in here.
My class ring is good. But broke. Haven't started any of the gobs of homework yet. *sigh* It'll be alright. This whole thing is going to keep me up fairly late tonight.
I... suck. And Mikey, I really need to be talking to you right now.
Tara has grown up, I found that out today. :-D

2001-12-10T06:15:00.000-05:00

Nothin' Like the Bottom of a Box of Lucky Charms

Soundwaves::"Tearin Up My Heart" Mr. T Experience
AIM::I forgot this guys name. :-X

Yay! It's 6 AM and I got my math review mostly finished! The homework and my preparation for the test seems to be a different story, however. Today is going to drag on. I can feel it.
Mikey, this is a great song. I'll listen to it about 30 more times before I decide if it's my favorite MTX song or not.

I have confidence in my poetry all of the sudden. I made Rachel teary today as she read the Impossible poem. *dances* Yay! See, that wasn't the aim, but that makes me feel like what I write has the potential to impact peoples! It's up under the writing section at her site now, along with one of my other poems, "Myself," inspired by the great singer/songwriter Steven Jackson. I need to go see him. He's so attractive and just perfect for anyone. *sigh* And he's folk. I'm gonna post that poem with this post. Yep. Maybe today won't be so bad... My stomach is agreeing at the moment, but this headache still isn't going away.
Welps, here it is, guys. This poem is very fitting for current things, as well. Kari=tired. Errr not tired.... hahaha the poem explains it! Gotta go do Physics POTW!

Myself

I feel stuck among my priorities.
And things drag on, slower than ever.
Faces are unfriendly and conversations
are shallow. I'm collectively
saving my energy for the things
and people that are important to me.
Like his welcoming smile, that I've said
I could wake up to every morning.
And I've said I could stand
to feel his warmth on cold Thursdays
when the heater refuses to turn
and the snow's piled up hip-high.
His spastic singing would lift me
up, light as a feather, and his rough
voice would smooth my jagged edges.
His emerald eyes would dance with a hint
of yellow at the height of our nonverbal discussions
and his spiral curls would bounce
with his every step and stammer.
But--
I save the dream and fulfill it in broken pieces
of broken words. I reiterate and concentrate
on the things which take the least effort.
I'm off balance, self-absorbed,
and even a tease to what few
suitors I have. I feel horrible
and lost and out of order.
Friendly distorted telephone voices
help me find ways around these difficulties.
I am not exhausted.
I'm simply conserving energy.

2001-12-10T00:19:00.000-05:00

We're So Far Gone

Soundwaves::"Analog Boy" RxBandits (sans Rich Balling! WOOHOO!)
AIM::Usual

Oh, blogger. Relieve me of this pain which lies in my heart.
I am not 67% emo, I am 100% Kari. :-D And I haven't started my math review yet and it seems as though I'm going to go to sleep and wake up at 3 and do it then. If it takes me three hours, I will cry. But maybe... maybe it won't and then I'll get to sleep more.
Kari needs to start being invited/going to group study sessions. Ahem. :) I was available for both this weekend but didn't go to either.
I like the poem I wrote the other day. So check out my archives a lot and read it. I think I'm going to go to sleep. Night now.

2001-12-09T02:46:00.000-05:00

Soundwaves::"For You to Notice Me" Dashboard Confessional
AIM::Mikey (who else?)

Impossible

I wish it were snowing
so that I could catch you
in awkward pauses
between fat snowflakes.
And try my best
to keep you warm
. --chattering teeth and all.
But so many obstacles seem
to stand in my way.

There are too many things
I'm not good at.
I can't complete these thoughts
and I often doubt
. if I'll ever follow through
(sometimes).

Late nights lead to
heartfelt lyrics which create
new concepts
and meanings
and ideas
and desires
. for you.
. (and heart pains which can't really be explained otherwise)

I'm too eager
to act out these feelings.
Too unsure of how to
express this.
. No... I'm sure of it.
. Just hesitant.
. You're delicate and perfect (for me) and adorable and everything that I could seem to ever want wrapped in the neatest little package of a person.
. And you're impossible.

2001-12-08T13:39:00.000-05:00

Soundwaves::"So Impossible" Dashboard Confessional
AIM::Mikey

There were things here that I wanted to say. I want to go see Midtown next week. Class rings come Wednesday. That's exciting. I think I have to pay for mine. *shrug* I really want it, so it's okay.
I've been talking about going to Boston for Spring Break... I've already planned the first weekend there with Patty (Kent) if I actually do go. Dunno what else I'd do... go see Mikey and Lisa and poo poo at BU but then... it's like... days to myself? I should recruit a friend to tag along.
Oh yes... Here are my results from the funny tests I took online somewhere the other day. If I stopped being lazy, I'd find the address so you could take them too...
I am 84% ska.
I am 51% internet addict.
I am 37% metal-head.
I am 46% grunge.
I am 67% emo.
I am 39% raver.
I am 40% goth.
I am 40% geek.
And I am only 27% punk.

2001-12-07T15:14:00.000-05:00

Breathe In So Deep

Soundwaves::"Hands Down" Dashboard Confessional

Any of you that are reading this and have downloading capabilities, download this song! Or I'll yell at you forever! Cuz it's definitely the best song ever for me right now. And to hear Chris Carrabba just sing this all on his own like three inches away from you and have exactly every idea what he's talking about... it just puts you in a puddle. My mom said he's whiny. And he is... but I love it. (I'm only 67% emo, I thought that was shocking... teehee.)

So the Dashboard Confessional show Thursday was amaaaaaaaaaaazing. *purr* I missed part of Seville, though! We got there sort of late and had to do the cutting in line thing... I started the show off like five rows back and through some moshing during Fairweather (or whoever?) I ended up second and a little right center... then the guitarist from Seville decided to stage dive (again! YES! They totally did this at the Vagrant show) during Further Seems Forever and because of him (!!!) I got front and center for the end of Further and for Dashboard. First of all.. the new lead of FSF is one of the hottest guys EVER and oh he was so nice. FSF was really, really, really good... their religious undertones got on my nerves a little bit. They weren't too noticable, but those things irritate me... different story, different day.
So, there I was, front and center for Dashboard Confessional... such a liberating expierence. I needed that show so badly... to sit and scream every word (except for the new songs from the new EP) and feel the emotion behind every line and for Chris and the rest of the guys to just give us the same energy level... it was really great. Highlight... Chris semi yelling at me and this girl for screaming for Living In Your Letters. Teehee. "We'll get to all we can, kids." It was funny! I laughed and then stopped screaming for it.
The show was over early... like 11 or so and I was hanging around determined that I would see Chris... but ends up I saw everybody except for him *growl*. But that's okay... because I got to talk to John (guitarist from Seville) at the merch booth and he was all being a super funny and nice guy. I think I might have potentialness with them in the future... I got their CD and it rocks my face off. As do they. Dan and just everyone else... they really are so nice. John told me they'd be back in March. I liked introducing myself to him and not really knowing who he was.

So today I didn't go to school. I woke up and realized that it was going to be impossible. I've felt like crap since the show, and I think taking 100 mg of my medicine last night before I went to sleep sort of "did me in," so to speak. I took a shower aroung 4:30 and just felt like I wouldn't be able to go through school, at all... any movement made me dizzy and I felt like I was going to vomit everywhere. So I went back to sleep and slept until about 1 with only a few interruptions. I feel better now, considerably, but my head is still very light and I can't move around too much... now I'm back to feeling like I felt last night at work.

WHOOOOOO JEFF JUST STOPPED BY. *swoon* I miss him. He's my brother's friend and he rules. Except for he's a loser raver guy, but he's oh so attractive and I heart him.

Currently, I don't feel like I'm going to lose my stomach, like I felt before. Maybe just my hearing. My right ear is really sore. I need to start wearing earplugs, seriously, or I'm going to lose it.

To address events even more out of order... on the way to the Dashboard show Wendesday was awesome, too. Amber and I drove all the way out to Kennesaw (!!!) to pick up Sara, and then we ate at Chuckee Cheese (got carded!)... it was a fun day. On the way down there I called Mikey and talked to him a bit... he cracked some emo jokes and it was fun. I fell asleep in the car on the way back and then we got gas and coffee with about 20 minutes left on the drive home and we actually got home at like 1:30, which wasn't that bad, but I wonder how Amber's test was... if I knew that I wasn't going to meet Chris, I would have left right after the show got out... I really need to get my own vehicle and right to drive it, then I could be responsible for myself. *growl*

Oi, and there go stomach cramps some more.

2001-12-03T23:04:00.000-05:00

You've Got No Character

Soundwaves::"Uncomfortable Sidekick" Let's Go Bowling

I really need to start doing my homework on time. Today I spent an hour putting together Mikey's package with his shirt and some pictures and nice note and he told me today that he hearts me. It's a step in the wrong direction. I just need to stop talking to people that don't live close to me. So it's 11 PM and I haven't even begun any math, including the assignment from the night before. I don't know what I'm doing in there and this should be an interesting attempt and should involve a whole lot of me wanting to not live anymore.
Positive: Dashboard is Wednesday... Amber said she's gonna pick me up right after Jazz Band and we'll leave immediately. I called Ryan twice today to see if he was going to go or not... it looks very very doubtful. I'm not doing anything for his birthday. I just want to give him a big long hug and tell him that I really freaking care about him. Because I do. But I don't think he knows that enough of the time.
After school today Kristy and I went to Wendy's and saw Evans and Ross there and we talked about Ryan for the majority of our meal... Ross doesn't even know what's up. With Ross's sparatic attendance, I'd think he would know... but he doesn't seem to. Ryan's mother seemed a lot more composed today on the phone than the last time I spoke with her (the whole crying thing)... so I mean, I don't know. But I'm sick and tired of how he can't come to the phone. Because if he can't, okay, I'd like to know why. But there's just something that's sitting in my head that's like... Whatever's going on is bad. And I want to lessen it. And I feel like I could, I just don't know how. *pout* Whatever.
Math homework. I'm going to try to go to sleep at 2. That seems realistic. I also have to do physics. Or get a 0/3. Bastard Bray. Me no gusta.

2001-12-02T15:47:00.000-05:00

I'm Rotting Here Today

Soundwaves::"My Looks and Your Brains" Mr. T. Experience
AIM::Rob (UK), Little John (Charlie)

Just a quick posty dealy.
The Exposure at the Masquerade... I have mixed reactions about it. The bands were horrible. There was a New Found Glory rip off and so many just death metal things and it was so bad.
Oh! So even though the bands suck, we made it fun. Like making a skanking pit during the NFG sound-alike band... I skanked with Little John... like we grabbed each others hands and it was so much fun. Then some bastards slammed me real hard and I moshed for a minute but didn't really feel like dying before Astrea, so I backed out. Astrea was good. The fans they picked up in between the last few shows scared me and I'm not used to them yet. They loved my shirt... John Creek signed my boobies, you know, the usual stuff... I think I got some good pictures... got some attention from Little John that I've needed. I wish I could see him everyday. I like him a lot as a guy... yeah.
I picked up my Remy Zero and (International) Noise Conspiracy pics and they are AWESOME... there are some really really really good ones... I dropped off my Ben Folds pics and I'll get those Tuesday, and then I shot two more of Astrea that I'm going to drop off Tuesday when I pick the other ones up. Blah. History paper. I should do some...

2001-12-01T11:34:00.000-05:00

Soundwaves::"This One's For You" Reel Big Fish
AIM::Amber

Beware... here is my post/review about the Ben Folds show which I posted on the Ben Folds Message Board where I post all of the time and spaz out about stuff. Welps. Here it is ladies and gents.

Hahaha - it's 2:15 AM and Kari just got home. So forgive me on my "Woe is Me" post, because I figured things out. Since it's so late and I still have homework, I have to make this as quick as possible.

I got down the the club right at about 6 PM, I think, and they were soundchecking. Here's what I heard of soundcheck...
1. Not the Same
2. Narcolepsy (!!!! with some AWESOME Snuzz guitar parts! TOO BAD THEY DON'T PLAY THIS!)
3. Annie Waits (something about it was really weird)
4. Ascent of Stan... (Ben's voice cracked hitting this one note and he coughed and it was way hilarious).

After soundcheck I milled around by the busses. I spotted Snuzz and started talking to him and he remembered me! Yay! Not my name, but he said he remembered talking to me, and I reintroduced myself and he was like, "OH YEAH! That's right..." So we talked, whatever, I sort of forget what we chatted about... but he went on to his business. That's right! We talked about my mishap with the show and I how I lived an hour plus away and that I was originally going to have to be home at midnight and he said he didn't even think they were going to be on by eleven... he seemed really concerned. And I told him I had a surprise for him and he said he was excited. :) Then I stopped Jim and he wasn't really talkative, he just seemed incredibly skittish tonight. He said they were enjoying hanging out and such, that everyone's been so nice and he really liked it in Athens. Then I spotted Ben and his oh so beautiful balding head from far away and I called him over... he was trying to go to a radio station, but he came up to me and we started talking and he said, "Wait, Kari, right?" And I just mumbled, "How did you... how did you..." And he goes, "Oh! Snuzz told me you were here." ???? What the hell ????? I mean, seriously. Eek. Ben was in his glasses (!!! his frames are really great) and I got a picture of him. I later saw Millard talking to one of the techies, but I was far away from the bus (it was semi roped off) and I can't see for beans, so I didn't say anything. :(
I walked back and forth between the small line that was forming, chatted with some fans that I knew, whatever, and went back down by the bus because I saw Snuzz and my mom had stolen some Ben Folds posters that I was going to get signed by the guys. Snuzz went to go get some food, and Ben was still hanging around and I got him to sign his poster. I also put in a small request for either "The Last Polka," or "Evaporated" for solo encore. He said he'd try to remember and play one of them for me.
I waited around more for Millard, we watched some parade which was going through downtown Athens and then we said "fuck this" and stood in line.

The show was 18+, I showed them my ID, they stamped me, I walked by. My mom sold her ticket for $20 outside, though the show was sold out and she could have gotten it for like $40. Kind of... odd. I ended up getting sort of right center, pretty equidistant between Millard and Snuzz. I enjoyed where I was... it was nice.

Snuzz played a little with Clem Snide... it was really good, I liked his/their stuff a lot and I have the Baywatch song stuck in my head now.

The show. Here's the setlist, with elaborations...
Time on: 11.03

-Introduction-
1. Not the Same
2. Zak and Sara
3. Fired
4. Annie Waits (I think this is where I caught Millard's eye [finally] for the first time this show... we shared great glances a lot throughout the rest of it).
5. Still Fighting it... Okay. I was trying to blow the bubbles during the second chorus, but it ended up being more the third verse, because I can't blow bubbles! By the end of the song, Ben saw what I was doing and actually messed up a line a little because he was laughing. Millard and Snuzz loved it, and I couldn't really see what Jim was doing because he was just rocking out.
6. Hiro's Song... Yes. Ben did some little outro piano jam which was nice. Definitely one of the bests of the night.
7. Losing Lisa
8. The Ascent of Stan
9. Fred Jones Pt. 2.... Oh how beautiful. I cried. Heehee! I love just how into it Snuzz gets and how serious... he was so great. It was really flawless.
10. Gone... I had yelled for this song right before and then they played it. Yay.
11. Make Me Mommy... I revealed the sign here (I always do when Ben goes for Big Red)... Millard and Snuzz liked it a lot. This was an exceptionally good version of this song. Snuzz's vocals were way loud, though. Ah well.
12. Rocking the Suburbs... Oooh boy oooh boy. I spazzed with my sign during the part of the song and Ben got as close to me as he could and just looked at me the whole line and sang it straight to me. It was great fun. :)
--------break, 12:03-12:06-------------
ENCORE
E1: Video... Ben introduced this song by saying, "Someone asked me to play this, so I'm going to." I freaked out because I thought it was going to be one for me. This was so nice to hear.. really... Ben forgot the lyrics and had to start over. After the song he thanked the crowd because he would have been lost without them.
E2: Best Imitation of Myself... I mean.... HOLY SHIT. That's all I'm going to say.
E3: One Angry Dwarf. Always flawless.
E4: Philosophy... my favorite part is hearing the crowd doing the backup harmonies. And oh was the crowd great!
E5: E-FUCKING-VAPORATED! Introduced as, "a song someone wanted me to play, so I'm going to!" I squealed. Cuz that was for me. And he actually remembered. And saved it till last. *purr*
E6: Full band... Song for the Dumped

Time off: 12:37 AM

After show... well, there wasn't much of one for me. But since I hadn't seen Millard, my friend said we could hang around for a minute. Around 12:45 I spotted him near the bus, and there were a good 30 people around and I just yelled, "MILLARD!" and he saw me with my sign and was like, "Let me put my stuff on the bus! I'll be right back, I swear!" No one in the crowd knew who he was. :( But when he came back out, I waved him right over to me and we started talking. We talked for a solid 15-20 minutes about many things. The funniest and best I will touch up on really quickly... He complimented me on my sign and I was like, "Yeah, well I thought I'd redo it... cuz the old one was crappy." And he was all, "What was it like?" And I told him how it was just blue marker on plastic and that I had it at the other two Atlanta shows. He said he didn't remember it and said it was maybe because I wasn't near him during the show. Then he asked me where I was and I was just like, "Right in front of you?" It was very cute. He apologized and pretended to remember and then said he couldn't pretend anymore. CRYSTAL: I asked him all of the questions on your sheet... showed the sheet to him.... and even got you a few pictures of him answering your questions. And even something else... which I'll send to you when I send you something else. :-X He was SO THRILLED that you knew so much... and I told him how much I adored his solo work and he wouldn't leave me alone about it... He even wrote on my poster something like, "Thanks for enjoying my stuff..." Here's some stats on tours:
*UK: not sure. He confirmed the thing about album sales with me... and also said if they HAD toured with James that sales would have gone to a decent level so they're pretty sorry that they didn't do that.
*AUSSIE: He said they'll be doing some festivals over the summer, maybe.
*US: February. *SQUEAL* I told him that would be insane... 4 times in like 5 months is nuts. It really really is.
I'll go into more detail later, but like I said... I have to read what's up on the bored, eat something, and do my math homework.
I gave Millard my bottle of bubbles and he thought that it was so cool of me to do that and that they would have so much fun with the bubbles on the bus. :)

Oh... some fuckwad stole a setlist that one of the stagehands was giving to me. He grabbed it from me and I went, "That was for me!" And he was like, "What do you mean?" And I was just like, "HE WAS FUCKING HANDING IT TO ME, I ASKED FOR IT." And the fucker just walked away. Whatever.

The Feel My Pain shirt was only available in XL... I got the Ben Folds project shirt and some little tour booklet poster thing for $30 total.

I'm sure I left out a lot of stuff... Crystal, PM me and I'll go into more detail about his responses and such, if I can remember.

This is the best I've seen them do, they really enjoyed the show and it was just a lot of fun. Ben talked a lot during the set about how he got permanent marker all over his blue jeans and how his fingernail broke and he made a big deal about it. Those of you with shows soon, I hope you'll get the same thing. It ruled.

I took 3 rolls of film. I'll drop them off this weekend when I pick up my other film

Much love,
~Kari (and Ben remembered how to spell my name!)

2001-11-30T23:22:00.000-05:00

I Grab My Heart and Scream Outloud

Soundwaves::"Disintegration (Is the Best Album EVER!)" The Impossibles

This layout is very emo of me. I actually am 75% emo and 87% ska. *happy sigh* Things are oh so good (if you just subtract school and boys from the picture).
Ben Folds show last night was utterly amazing. It's the best I've ever seen them do, and they were all so nice to me before and after the show. I'll post my review up here in my blogger soon, too.
Dashboard is next Wednesday and I'm buying Ryan a ticket anyway. I want him to be there. And the other day when we were alone in the instrument closet in the band room, I really almost talked to him about "us" or whatever, as friends and whatever else it is that I want out of this. I just want to take him into my arms and... ugh. It makes me sick that this lyric, "Save me... I can never let you go..." came on as I do this. Of course. Hahaha.
I think I'm going to go to sleep soon. I had visitors at work tonight and cleared out of there at 9:30 with $62. Fairly impressive shift, I'd say. :-D
My UK friend is talking about coming over here in February to see Ben Folds. Wow. And he needs a place to stay and he wants to see me because he loves me. Even though he says he hates me because of all I got to do last night. Oh well. He can just piss off. :) JUST KIDDING ROB! You rule!
Astrea is tomorrow night at the battle of the bands thing at the Masquerade. I'm making Astrea a t-shirt... I love them so much and I want to marry the littlest John and Jeremy and hell, all of them. They love me. We work great together and if they can find some shirts laying around, I will definitely be selling them, Jeremy said, and doing email list signup sheets.
I hate the University of Georgia.
You're welcome, Nicole.

2001-11-29T00:06:00.000-05:00

More complications for the show. I think I've figured out a way for everyone to be happy, I just need to share with mia mater. And I can't, because it's in the wee hours of the AM.
I'm out of Lucky Charms.
I don't like doing this lab report, though it is easy.
Mmmm... I don't care anymore today.
I don't like the way I catch certain people looking at me across the room in my classes... Well... I like it, I guess, it's just too unsettling and... unsettling. It's what I want... but it's ... raaaaaaaaaaaaa!

2001-11-27T05:31:00.000-05:00

Soundwaves::"Here She Comes" Mr. T Experience
AIM::?

I just downloaded a Latin translator... if there's a will, there's a freaking way, dude. It's 5:30 and I need to do some math today...
I need to stop reading Rory Phillips's Live Journal. He is so depressing, but sings so greatly... and I would really like to be one of those girls he talks about... *sigh* He really is a great guy and it makes me sad that he's so sad. But I'm sad anyway.
My nails are a good color.
My new Preparation H sign is beautiful. A mystery within its freaking self. :)

2001-11-25T23:35:00.000-05:00

She Likes His Rockstar Glamour

Soundwaves::"Hiro's Song" Ben Folds
AIM::Genius Boy (Harazin), Amber

I think I'm going to start letting go more here. My blogged emotions are too vague because I'm too afraid to hurt people... but this was MY PERSONAL blog before anyone came along to read it. It's been suffering lately because I've felt the need to protect people, which I do in every day life, because I don't exactly run around screaming this stuff at the top of my lungs... it's saved here for a reason. I am not necessarily a genuine person when it comes to how I feel about things, I'm a very nice person. If something trivial that I feel is going to hurt someone, I won't express it. I have many reservations. But I'm going to cut back, I've decided. If any of this seems harsh... I guess oh well? Emotionally, I have been suffering, because I haven't been able to vent as well as usual... this *is* my release and my true emotion.
Hell, I feel like I need to clear some things up. My feelings for Ryan have always been there and are not any different or more intense than they were, say, in June. It has always been a very consistent thing that I'm just now determined to put more faith and time into. My time with him and everyone else around me is very limited. I only have a year and a half left at school, and after that, we fork off. Though some relationships won't stop, for the whole, they will. And I know that. And it scares the crap out of me. I look at the time I spend with my friends, which is relatively nothing (I'm left out of things a lot, it seems), and just think about how different things are going to be soon. How I'll find myself in situations in college, maybe in California, thinking about how someone would always react a certain way to one of my quirks, and then realize that they're not there to react like that. I don't want to waste any of this time. I'm 16 and I haven't done anything. In my last blog I was talking about getting a fake ID... but for what? CONCERTS. I am not taking advantage of the things I see around me like I should be. And when I start thinking about this stuff, I really do get depressed. So when I apply this to stuff like Ryan it's like... I've always invisioned he and I as having the perfect high school relationship. Where it just suddenly falls into place and it's there for so long and it's just something where like, I can go to sleep at night and not feel so alone. Like now, I really don't feel like there's anyone there for me like that. I'm missing out on something and it's driving me absolutely insane. It really is and I feel like there's really nothing that I can do about it. (Actually, reading back on this... maybe I'm just so stubborn that I'm not letting myself rely on anyone in that type of way. I'm too independent and honestly I feel like, unless there's someone that I KNOW would never hurt me... I won't trust them with all of my girly stuff. I don't give up my emotions too easily because I know how much they can be hurt..) And Laura, I wouldn't be offended by your feelings for Ryan, because honestly, this thing that I've had for so long isn't going anywhere anyway. I hope it will, and depending on my actions, it may relatively soon. But it doesn't matter to me. I don't forsee myself getting jealous unless someone else wins him over... And I'd get over that eventually, too. I don't know... there's just so much between us that's unspoken and I'm sick of it. I need some sort of definition right now. I need to know if there is anything. I've been wasting so much time on this that it's just... ridiculous to throw it away now. But I don't exactly want to waste any more time on it either.
In summary with the whole Ryan thing: My feelings for him haven't changed. They've been like this for about three years and they are relatively consistent, no matter what I say. I'm not very comfortable addressing it anywhere other than here, so you may get mixed answers from me.
That was a long schpeal about a whole lot of stuff. I could go on forever, too, but my mother is trying to get me off here, and I feel bad because I yelled at her.
Something to be happy about: Ben Folds is Thursday.
I am irritable. I need more time to myself. And that whole thing made me cry. Twice.

2001-11-25T12:50:00.000-05:00

Breathing is a Foreign Task

Soundwaves::"The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most" Dashboard Confessional
AIM::Enbar

My left eye is still puffy. *growl*
I'm going to try to get into this show December 7th with this Matt guy. I'm just afraid I'll get in trouble for not being 18... or if I get a fake/borrow my friends... that I'll get caught. I'm way too good of a kid to be sneaking around like this. Hahaa I should just get a fake. How lame am I to only use it for shows? PRETTY LAME!
Yeah umm.. Tech so lost. And Bobby IMed me in the middle and was like, "Ha! Look at your team LOSE!" I miss liking him. I really, really, really do miss that. He was perfect for like a solid three months and then just something happened. I hate being so hated by them. But only one more year. Maybe I haven't bought my officer jacket yet for a reason.
I'm going to stop blogging soon, I feel. It's getting uncomfortable and isn't really a release anymore. *sigh*
Or I could jut let everything go. But that would be bad...

2001-11-24T20:54:00.000-05:00

This is going to be an uneventful blog.
I made Michael very happy in the wee hours of this morning by telling him how great he is. If he only really knew how much he means to me!
My Paul Frank shirt died. The monkey fell off. It's very sad.
I am determined to get Ryan to come to the Dashboard Confessional show with me. His birthday. I'm hoping he'll enjoy it. And me. Maybe it'll be good for us.
I spoke with the other guy from the show Wednesday, Matt. He is so awesome and turns out he's a lot like me! He's obsessed with ZIM (YAY!) and all things Jhonen... and he's waaaaay punk rock. lol he hates me because I got into this stuff earlier than him, but I hate him because he's so much more hardcore than I am. He says that I look exactly like one of his ex-girlfriends and it's crazy that I love Reel Big Fish so much, because she does too. I don't know if that's good or bad, though. I think it's good... He wants me to go to a show with him and his girlfriend, because he lives in Alabama and rarely comes over here.
My left eye is all puffy. I'm not so sure why... but I'm not wearing my contacts right now to hopefully please my left eye and have the swelling go down. Because I look like a monster.
Justin and Amber are more of a thing the more time rolls on... and Sara's being nicer and cooler the more time rolls on.
Well, time to go start watching the Tech v. Georgia game some more. :)
If Tech wins, I'm wearing my sweatshirt Monday. Hooooorah!

2001-11-23T20:44:00.000-05:00

I shouldn't be posting this here, as I usually save these poems for me and me only.

November 23

I want to be something more
than this mess of features
all tangled and distracted
by immediate emergencies.
This is too temporary,
too clumsy and unreliable.
I need stability
in this time when I, myself,
am brittle and unsure.

I turn jealous too easily
and it destroys the little
confidence which took me
so long to build up.
I am nothing in comparison
to the things which you have.

I hope for days
when this curtain will be lifted
by his strong forearms
followed by those familiar eyes.
And I long for his touch
which will pull me out of
this deep freeze...
and in return, I will mend
those sour spots
which have been eating him away.

The only medication I need now
is the comfort of his lower lip:
creased, dry, and chapped
from this winter wind.

If he gave me his word
I would never break it.
It's worth this wait.

2001-11-23T13:06:00.000-05:00

Can't Control the State I'm In

Soundwaves::"Supply and Demand" by the Hives
AIM::Amber

Wow so much has happened over the last few days. It's going to be way difficult for me to type about all of it and I can say right now I'll leave at least three things out.
TUESDAY!: The Remy Zero/JJ77(I think?)/Pete Yorn show... It rooooooooocked! The show was really great, it was so awesome to meet up with all of my Whir (Smashing Pumpkins) buddies in the same place! It really has been too long. Kara and David are together now. I had seen David back last month at the last Ben Folds show, and he's going to be there Thursday in Athens, too... oh so much excitement.
After Remy Zero's set, we said, "SCREW PETE YORN!" and decided to hunt around for Remy Zero. We found Cedric, the bassist, and took some pictures with him, got crap signed, whatever... Then we went somewhere else and walked back to where Cedric was before and saw Kara and Tracy and David and everyone that was with them being led somewhere by Cedric. Patty decided to follow them, and we ended up backstage (crazy) in what I guess was Remy Zero's dressing room. I felt bad for having followed them down there, but it turned out to be no big deal. We schmoozed, we talked with them, and I don't really feel like going into details because there are way too many! Jeffery (guitarist) was my favorite! because of his cute peacoat that we chatted about for a while. The whole backstage experience was really scary to me. Maybe that's just because Cinjun (lead singer) was way drunk and it was funny. He was kissin all over Patty and stuff. He's really gorgeous and I'm jealous. But Patty deserves it! She super duper loves them!
Anyway, I took some pictures and I'll have them developed soon. Cedric and Cinjun took Patty's camera and took some pictures... lol should be REALLY GOOD once she gets hers developed. :) If they didn't mix up cameras. Shit. Hahaha I didn't think about that!

WEDNESDAY: The Hives/Milemarker/the (International) Noise Conspiracy!
Whaaaaaaaaat a good good good show!! Dear lord. The Hives are the best live band I've ever seen. Those of you that know me know that's a pretty tall title to hold, considering all of the bands I've seen. They were crazy and Hawlin' (their lead singer) was all crazy and everywhere. I got some hella awesome pictures of him in my face and boy oh boy he was one of the hottest guys I've ever seen. Damn Swedes being so fucking skinny! I can't get over it!
Milemarker was a bunch of noise. If I had been able to hear the vocals and things all together were brought down, I might have liked them! But because of how loud it was I didn't.
The (International) Noise Conspiracy was so crazy good. Dennis (lead singer) has some of the best moves ever! It was really difficult to take pictures because they just moved around so much and all out ROCKED. The crowd got really bad during their set and they stopped once to try and calm them down, but it sort of backfired. People in the crowd were shouting derogatory stuff at Dennis. I don't know the half of it, because I was upfront and in my little cubby isolated from everything that was going on. Encore was actually stopped a little early because of whatever was going on in the pit and ended the show on a VERY VERY bad note. We talked to Inge after the show and he was so frustrated... but so nice to us at the same time. My heart really goes out to them for having come all this way and to be treated so horribly. Inge rubbed my back and told me that it wasn't my fault! I was just so upset! I hate how it always has to be like this. There are people like that at every show and it ruins it for ME and it makes the freaking bands NEVER WANT TO COME BACK! It'll be a miracle if t(I)NC will play here again soon.
We met some way rad people at the show, too. Justin and Sara are great and we went to Waffle House with them after the show! Amber and Justin are a thing (*raises fist*... lol it really isn't a big deal... I'm happy for you, Amber! :) Really... I'm not bsing. Honest!), it seems. There was also this greaaaaaaat guy Matt with his girlfriend and they drove all the way from Alabama and I'm sending them doubles of my pictures. They're so dedicated!
I didn't get home until 3, and I'm still not so sure how that's going to impact me in the future... but I'm guessing badly.

Next show is Ben Folds on Thursday, can't wait. Honestly. :) It's going to be so rad.
We got our new car Tuesday...
Makeup shopping Wednesday was awesome, too! I got some cool shiz and I was happy to be down in the city... the weather was PERFECT and chilling with Amber was lots of fun.
The Ben Folds board rules. I'm just gonna say that. I need to change this CD. It's played through once while I've been writing this. Daaaaayamn. :)

2001-11-20T06:16:00.000-05:00

Soundwaves::"Concealer" Thursday (can anyone tell that I really like this band?)
AIM::Enbar, Lisa, Brian

I ate five Oreo's for breakfast.
New car before Thanksgiving, it seems.
Now mother says once they sell the wrecked accord, they're buying an old truck that I'm driving for a year. Whatever. As long as I get that Golf.
I'm about to quit working at Sonic. Pacific Sunwear seems like a much more pleasant place, though they might not pay as much. And I don't have a car to drive me to work every day after school. Yet. But once I do... I'm telling you. :)
Hmm... I miss... MatthewfrigginRaetting...

2001-11-19T21:41:00.000-05:00

We are All the Same...

Soundwaves::"I am the Killer" Thursday

Not much time to blog. I have a long night of physics and Pre-Cal and Latin ahead of me.
Field trip was fun. I liked being nerdy and running around taking pictures. Hopefully they'll come out well. Ryan and I are buying a house at the foot of Kennesaw Mountain, we've decided. All of this is too cute. My only complaint is his inconsistancy with all of this and me. And his indirectness. Like talking about how "we should go camping on prom night." JUST COME OUT AND SAY IT! *raises fist* I'll laugh if he reads this thing. He knows how I feel anyway...
At least tomorrow is Tuesday. I'm doing suddenly horrible in everything in school. I'm distracted. I failed my Physics midterm with a whopping 62.5%.
I should go do other things...

2001-11-18T16:10:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I bought two CDs, with the money I don't really have to spend. I bought Thursday's "Full Collapse," FINALLY, and I absolutely adore it. It really... aahhhhh is just great. I also bought "Revenge is Sweet and So Are You," by the Mr. T Experience, and I love it, as well. I spent $30 (Damn Borders), which I shouldn't have. But that's alright, because I have new tunes to rock my ears off.
Senior night was... good. I saw Special K at Borders while we were there Saturday night and I laughed at him. It was funny. The show Friday was supposedly awesome, though I messed up pretty badly and had to listen to Spencer (evil) laugh at me during the eight counts of rest and the four count turn. My performance was below par.
Thursday night Amber hung out... it was fun! We talked about a whole buttload of stuff, and the (I)NC show with her is going to be a blast.
I think Ryan (not Harris) is going to let me make him over and be emo for the Dashboard Confessional show, which is on his birthday. It strikes me as a very good opportunity for a number of things. But I'm afraid that if I make him even more beautiful than he already is, he would be stolen from me that night by someone random, which would completely destroy my plan. Well, it's not really my plan, just what I've always wanted to happen. I'm not really concentrating on that too much, though. Because it's his birthday and I just want to show him a good time. He's one of my best friends and I just... *sigh*
I'm messing around with my layout, if you haven't noticed. And I like this one. So I think it will stay. The only mildly annoying thing is that you have to click on archives to read what I wrote yesterday. But I like that better, I think. LIVE WITH IT. :) Yay.
At Waffle House Friday night, I saw Matthew Reatting and some other kid that I knew from my pool. Matt has turned into this beatufiul... just... guy that I really wish I could talk to and see more often. I saw him and said hey and he seemed pretty flattered... our conversation was very generic, as it would be... and I didn't really expect anything more. I miss him. If he still lived by me, he would be my Ryan (not Harris).
Speaking of Harris, we're talking a lot lately. He's great. Can't wait till the 5th to see him at the Dashboard show, too. :) WHEE!
*bows* I've got to get ready for work. Maybe I'll actually take a shower. *evil grin*

2001-11-14T16:28:00.000-05:00

Sound waves::"Superman" by Goldfinger and occasionally Mike's nice voice. Rarararara.

Yeah, I'm not seeing Alien Ant Farm tomorrow, because Chuck and Peter felt that I would be imposing since they were going to be doing GUY THINGS... and I'm not a guy! Much damning. Stupid stupid dumb people.
I'm such a nerd, I requested this song last night on Eryn's show and now I'm requesting it on Mike's. I suck. I'm too unoriginal. I like how Mike says my name. Ahahaha what a dork. And by dork I mean it in utter veneration for the guy. (haaha... riiiiight!)
Something's up with my keyboard... it sticks. And I have to retype things too often. I'm about to have to get ready for work, but I'm trying to get the most out of this radio show... and I can always listen to it in archives.
I am sick. Yep. I feel like I'm gonna die.
I MISS BOSTON! Raaaaaaaaaaaa... these dumb people on this dumb show with their dumb accents and watching Glory today and talking about the Commons and the weather. I wish I could be there right now. Just strolling around. *sigh*
I'm turning in a new work schedule today for my boss. It's a lot. Two weekdays each week, as a matter of fact. But Thanksgiving break is soon and Christmas break is only about two weeks afterwards. So semester is nearly over. And I'm doing poorly. Definitely not all A's. I'll cry if my only B is in Latin II. What a dumb class.
New guy at lunch, Patrick, gets better and better every day. Yet I feel Becca is... reeling him in. And that would be increasingly bad.
All in all, not too bad for a hump day. I'm trying not to let Spencer get to me anymore. Basically I'm not saying anything at all to him and pretending he's not there. Friday will be bad. I can feel it. But at least Friday I'll be crying anyway since it's Senior Night and I'm losing a lot of great friends this year.
Ack. Over and out.

2001-11-13T20:45:00.000-05:00

y a

How much did you have to pay him?

Sound waves::That 70's Show (thank god for Fox Television shows)
AIM::Amber!

Upcoming shows Kari will hopefully be going to:
1. Thur Nov 15 - Alien Ant Farm, Aphex Theory
2. Tue Nov 20 - Pete Yorn, Remy Zero
3. Wed Nov 21 - (International) Noise Conspiracy, The Hives, Hero's Severum, MileMarker
4. Thur Nov 29 - Ben Folds (in Athens, woop woop!)
5. Sat Dec 1 - Battle of the Bands (feat. Astrea, Wide Rite Turn, Alvin)
6. Wed Dec 5 - Dashboard Confessional, Further Seems Forever (I need three pairs of underwears for this)
7. Thur Dec 13 - Good Charlotte, Midtown, Mest, and Sugarcult

And that's it so far. :) I'm really excited about all of these shows... raaa!! I can hardly wait! I think that this is what's been so wrong with me... I've been too serious lately and haven't had enough fun. So I'm going to start having fun now, with the holidays coming up and no school and no marching band. I have spare time. But I don't want it anymore. I'm going to completely occupy myself, to where I'll be on the brink of burning out, but won't really have the time to realize it or the time for the breakdown.
Ryan is being a dick. Mmmyep, I know that's blunt but I don't really care. And he's scaring the hell out of me. But what can I do? A whole lot of... NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL. *pout*
Yay! Adam Sandler is on the teevee!! Makes me happeee!!!
But I don't like how people read this blog. It makes me not happeee. Because I have emotional issues. Or maybe it's just because I suck. I'm looking forward to next week. A whole whole whole whole whole whole whole freaking lot.

2001-11-12T00:46:00.000-05:00

Sound waves::"Devotion" Weezer
AIM::Mike (too...far...)

All I've been doing today has been the Tavis site... So Check it Out... It rulzes! Not everything works, but I love it and other people have really complimented me and it makes me happppyyyyyyy like a little happy child.

2001-11-10T23:32:00.000-05:00

I've given up on a lot of things, I've decided. There are some battles I never could have won, yet I pretended that I could. All defenses are down. I've lost. I've been destroyed. And there are only a few people keeping me sane.
I was supposed to see Astrea tonight for the 7th or 8th time (not so sure which), yet something happened and they weren't supposed to bring anyone outside of the band to the party. I'm not so sure why, but what's done is done. It made me happy to know that they wrote some songs essentially for me... and I can barely hold my excitement in wanting to hear them. December the 1st shall be a very great day. I really wanted to see Little John... because if he and I are going to get married, we need to see each other more than just a few times a year.
I'm trying to download Microsoft Frontpage... 1029 minutes remaining. That is a very, very long time. It's all Mike's fault! DAMN YOU MIKE! I like you. Raaaaa badness. Bad bad bad. You're too nice.
GHP interviews were okay. I don't want to delve into it here because I've talked about it so much that it's just... blah. Hmmph. I need to find out if I can pass out some Midtown flyers at the battle of the bands here... I bet that could get me into their show... hehehe yessssssssssa.

2001-11-05T06:16:00.000-05:00

But less of you is more than I can take...

Sound waves::"If I Die" Something Corporate
AIM::Liiiiiiiiiiiiisa! (the best!)

So I'm copying Caleb's CD (YES, I MADE HIM ONE) because it's so good that I refuse to let go of it. My desire for him is all too evident and I believe it's coming off as desperate. Yep. Pretty sure about that.
Enbar and I have Kari and Enbar time today after school, at least from my understanding we do. We're doing shopping for outfits for Thursday and I'm really excited about wanting to go now.
I filled out my application for the skate park. I want to drop it off today, but I'm not so sure how well that'd flow over if I do get accepted and me not having a car to take me there. Cuz daddy already told me that it wouldn't be an intelligent thing to do and to just wait until I drive. I want this so much. And I want it now.
I should be doing physics, but as of right now, I've given up. No more.
Copy CD, copy...

*sigh* I lead a sad existence.

2001-11-03T21:36:00.000-05:00

AIM::Boston Patty (love)

Preparing for Thursday's interview SUCKS... but at least I'm preparing. That's good... maybe it will increase my chances? Sure.

So today begins my first independent study session to formulate things that I want to talk about, which begin with very general themes and work their way down to the bones of the author and the concept, idea, the commercial, blah blah blah.

Mia mater got in car accident. A lot of not good happening there.

New mall=good. I want to go Monday with Enbar to shop for GHP interview clothes. That's Thursday. Way too soon. I need to work on my nerves.

2001-10-31T00:58:00.000-05:00

Sound waves::The Smashing Pumpkins "In the Arms of Sleep" -----> cool guy's radio show
AIM::Lisa and some guy

Dammit I'm tired. And scared and lonely and blah blah blah.
If a certain someone doesn't start showing up to school again, prom arrangements are off.
As soon as this show is over I'm gettin in the shower, going to sleep, and saying SCREW MY PHYSICS HOMEWORK. Dammit.
I just want to yell.
Hey, I got my tutoring done. *pats self on back*
This year needs to end. But we never need to have report cards because I think I have one A, and yeah, that's band. I might have an A in my dumb history class, I don't know. But this is THE MOST IMPORTANT YEAR, dammit. And I suck.
I gotta figure out what I'm doing tomorrow night. Hmmph. Cuz Patty wants me to see her deddy's band, but I want to go chill with the peeps, yo.
YES! This Eryn guy is playing my song! I LOVE IT! He's great. Hahaha I HAVE to go to sleep. It's like one. Stupid radio stations in California. *sings* Go Ellen... go Ellen, it's your birthday, it's your birthday... work it... work it... keep workin...

2001-10-29T20:10:00.000-05:00

KariFullOfGoo: I miss you.

AIM::Brian (see above)

Homecoming was great. It was a good mixture of awkwardness and naturalness and I saw the right amount of the right people... including surprise visits from great people who decided not to go to homecoming. When it's cold, friendly hugs are the best remedy.
Some of Homecoming was very bad, though, like people wanting to leave people and people actually leaving people. I don't know. I guess I've just put so much of myself out there for other people and it hurts like hell to see them walk all over me like they do.
I hate small talk in IMs because I have nothing else to say.
Water balloon lab today was very fun. Getting Clay wet was so much better than destroying Coach Bray. I'm trying to look at Clay and not feel anything for him anymore, but it's hard. I don't know why I still like him. He's just a great guy.
I like it being this cold. I just wish I had someone to share my spare warmth with.

2001-10-25T16:26:00.000-04:00

Sound waves::"Gone" Ben Folds

Today was not good. 36/50's are not good on notebook checks. I really shouldn't have forgotten it at home. That's just dumb. Grrr.... and tomorrow's a big math test, so that means that I really should study for it tonight. Especially having gotten a 72% on my first notebook check. It's just dumb. And my fault. But I wasn't going to be in 3rd period, so I found no use to have that notebook in my bookbag! At least there was some logic to that! *cries*
Patrick got a haircut and it looks cute.
Talking about hair... mine is this very strange nearly reddish orange color near the roots. This is what I get for "lightening" my hair with "golden accents." So tonight it's just lightenend. And when worse comes to worse, we dye it over and over again until it looks good enough for me to go out in public all dressed up and pretty for Saturday. I'm so incredibly excited. But I feel like a fourth grader, really... because this is sort of an awkward boy girl thing... raaa. I don't want to write about it here, but I really want to tell someone.
I got lots of makeup today.... and it's AWESOME. Whoooooo yeah!!!!!
I think I'm going to go to sleep. I don't know.

2001-10-23T22:01:00.000-04:00

AIM::Prep

I got a new shirt for Homecoming. It's black and red and gold sparkly, kind of like my other one, but smaller and a different design. I like this one more. I hope this doesn't alter any previous plans. *sigh*
Nicki's dress is gorgeous. It fits her so well. I really want to be her size, but I take what I have. Hahaha which is a lot!
Practice today was cute. We were doing stuff in preparation for Homecoming, and basically I was prooding Ryan to go the entire time. Two full hours of convincing. I think I worked him up to a he would go if he had someone to go with thing... My attraction to him is very unsteady. This afternoon I never wanted to talk to him again, and after us making our verbal agreement on Prom, I could have nibbled on his bottom lip for about four days straight. I probably didn't just have to type that, but this is my Blog and I'm supposed to be loose with my emotions here. I'm sure some of you would like to know what this Prom thing is about... well, I have had it in my mind ever since Freshman year that I would go to Prom with Ryan. It was just the natural thing to do. It has been understood in my mind that he wants to go with me as well, so I never needed to get any personal reenforcement from him concerning this. And last year in Latin, around the time of Prom, he helped me pick out my "perfect dress" out of one of the Cinderella's Closet pamphlets that come in the school newspaper... And we sort of danced around the idea of Prom and it seems fairly secure now. As a matter of fact, I was begging him about Homecoming and how I felt bad because I should be going with him, but I decided to go with Patrick (this isn't BAD... I'm so freakin excited about Saturday)... And I just nonchalantly rested my head on Ryan's shoulder and asked him quietly, "So what about Prom?" And he goes, "Well, I'll go to Prom." And then I said, "So I'm going to get my mint green dress and we're going to go together?" And he said immediately, "Those are the plans right now."
Something is so wrong with him. He's not the same toward me... and I feel like he's hiding this big... just thing. And why would he hide it from me? Of all people, I feel like he and I just share something unspoken. *sigh* This is bothering me again. A whole stinking lot. And I don't want to do any crying because seeing Mr. English tonight and having the reception was enough of a reason to cry.
I want this to be over. School... having to worry about this stuff. I just want to be able to run to someone and hold onto them and never have to feel like I need to let go.
But things that are happy... seeing the AMC dorks in their getups today for Twin Day... seeing Nicki BEAUTIFUL in her freaking dress and watching her just lay $150 down for it... asking Jeremy about me selling merch for his band for their show at the Masquerade, because it's actually going to happen, dammit.
I think I choose not to do homework tonight. Sleep is more important.

2001-10-22T18:15:00.000-04:00

Auditions were... interesting? Is that the right word? Hahaha I left out my F scale... wheee but I played it perfectly when I replayed it. I played 3/5 scales very well, and G and Gb not so well... but BFN (Big Fat Nazi... our affectionate nickname... I actually like him, but BFN is fun) can just get over it. My chromatic was good, my etude was good. I think it'll be a third chair, maybe second, depending on how much he actually places on the audition. I think Bobby did better than I did, but that's alright. Do I care? Not particularly. Because I played my scales perfectly before I went in there and then blahhhhh whatever. Raaaaaaaaa.
That's enough. :)

2001-10-22T15:31:00.000-04:00

Sound waves::The Vapors "Turning Japanese"
AIM::Lisa

Sometimes I just want to stand in a really high place and yell at the top of my lungs.
What a great day.
Rivers Cuomo has found a new home in my new Paul Frank wallet... and I have two new Paul Frank shirts as well. *happy sigh* I love eBay.
And then today... hehehe YAY I MADE COUNTY LEVEL FOR GHP IN COM ARTS! Yesssssssssa! Hehehe. That makes me *so* very happy. And I thought my essay sucked. Here's a little secret. Some of you may like to hear this, others may already know... the topic was to write about a problem you faced and what you learned from overcoming it and blah blah blah and I wrote about Ryan... and how concerned I was for him as a friend and how it just tore me apart and to be completely shut out of someone's emotional life really lets you learn more about yourself and how you deal with these situations. I think I wrote about how I thought the most important part of growing up is learning about your mistakes and how you react to certain obstacles, and I really have just learned so much about myself through this and the all too similar Sally and Marianne situations. Blah. Too many bad times.
Downside to GHP... the possibility of me making it is now greater because I passed first cut, so all of the plans I've been laboring over the summer could completely be lost. The Loveliest Lisa, California, the much loved and sought after Brandon, and now the urgency of Tavis, could all be gone. I think it's worth it... because Brandon can hold another year and give us time to grow up a little more before I'm thrust into his world... and could possibly wait for me to see him graduate that summer after I graduate. *sigh* So little time...
Auditions are today. And as crappily as they go, I'm not going to care. Today has been great. I said hi to Caleb... yaaaaay. The only thing that was slightly amiss with the day was actual school itself. The work, the stupidity. And complexities concerning Saturday. Like my date not even really wanting to go? Eek. Makes me feel kind of dumb. Raaa. But like I said, too much good.
Hmm. And I shall go warm up now. :)

2001-10-21T13:44:00.000-04:00

Sound waves::Thursday "I am the Killer"

The Ben Folds show is 18+ for real, and I am gonna cry. But I think if I'm going with Tim, and he's 18... I think that qualifies for an adult. If it doesn't, I'm borrowing my friend's fake ID and just hoping it works. And if it doesn't. Ohhhhh well! :)
Our band did really well last night at Sprayberry. Ironically, Norcross cleaned up EVERYTHING in their division and practically overall, and we cleaned up mostly everything in our division, placing 1st in division, 1st in class, and I think 7th overall out of 20 or so bands, while Norcross placed 2nd. It really made us happy to see how sincere they were to us and we were back. Since our director used to direct over there and all...
Hmm... I gotta go practice some more, just dropping quick notes.
Diana (Aaron's gf's) B-day was yesterday and I sent her an emaily of course. The Tavis Tribute now has a collage for its main page. Should be good. Ta ta.

2001-10-19T16:05:00.000-04:00

Sound waves::Ben Folds "Hiro's Song"
AIM::Jill poo poo

If the Ben Folds show is 18+ for real, I'm gonna cry. That's what it says on their website, but dammit I'll find a way! If I have to say Tim is my uncle, then SO BE IT! Fucking Athens crazy bullshit. :)
Hahaha Kilborn WAS SO GREAT LAST NIGHT! "Craig Kilborn, feel my pain!" Ahahaha I almost died. Yes, I really almost did.
Oooh... Caleb, the hair guy... I talked to him after school Wednesday and he said hi to me Thursday morning and smiled at me today and it's just been a lot of fun.
I thought I had a lot to type aboutttttt... buttttttttt I guess not.
I'm thinking marrying Ryan is getting more and more likely. At least prom is... because he's showing up to school. *sigh* But I don't really like him.
Efforts right now are focused on... wow... no one in particular. They're just spread out on certain people.

2001-10-17T06:29:00.000-04:00

All Good Things Come to an End...

Sound waves::Thursday "Understanding in a Car Crash"
AIM::Lisa, Other Guy, Alice Cooper guy... DAMN YOU PEOPLE (minus Lisa)

All good things... like my favorite member quitting my second favorite (essentially favorite) band. Yessir, that's right... Mr. Tavis Werts, after eight years of dedication, has left the band. I've heard some very concrete rumors, which I doubt to be rumors, as to this occurrance... and it just breaks my heart into pieces this small --> .
But, at the same time, he may go to college now. He has too much inside of his head to just waste.
The fact that his event of departure was a result of a conflict with another member troubles me. And having an idea of who that member is troubles me even more. Because it's so typical. Of him and just period. I just want to yell. And then give Tavis a really big hug, because he doesn't deserve any of this.
I'm not so sure how this alters my view of the band. It's just that things ARE different now. It's really difficult for anyone to drop this, because whatever it was has been going on for a really long time and just now surfaced. (These Lucky Charms taste funny...) I'm sure that this won't really interrupt anything for me. Now there's just the horrible idea and possibility that I'll never see Tavis again.
If anyone that reads this actually cares... http://pub.alxnet.com/guestbook?id=2243625 Lisa and I made a guestbook for Tavis for his fans and friends to sign. So drop by if you want to tell him anything.
I got tired of studying so I stopped. I don't really know why I woke up at 3:30... I ended up spending probably... 30 minutes reading, then an hour on here, then 45 minutes studying, then 20 more minutes on here. *sigh* I really am lame.
But Suburban Legends make me laugh, so it's okay...
I swear... one day...

2001-10-15T20:44:00.000-04:00

Sound waves::The CNN Man

I had fun today. But two bee-stings. Contrary to the believed one.
I'm tired, and I'm going to go to sleep because PSATs are tomorrow.
The day, on the whole, was good. At least the earlier part of it. But after that it went downhill and now I'm going to sleep before 12 o'clock, and that itself, to me, is a sign of nothavingfunness? Sure.
Raaaa.

2001-10-15T00:16:00.000-04:00

I told you six times before... Shaniqua don't live here no more!

Sound waves::The Impossibles "Something Fierce"
AIM::Leia... my nice Ben Folds MB friend. :) She ruleeeeeeeeeeees.

Let's just say that a lot has happened since the last time I've written.

I've witnessed one of my closest friends go through some sort of a breakdown, and I was taken with him for a small amount of time when I was so worried that I didn't know what to do. That has sort of worked itself out, and I have become less worried with his actions and reactions. Things are going better.
Our football team is horrible, and that makes Friday nights relatively difficult to sit through. The band does little when the team loses all of the time.
Speaking of band, we have not been doing that well either. Two competitions and straight two's at each. Not fun. Especially when the next one is this coming Saturday and there is little hope and much frustration. We are all stressed out and are ready to kill each other. Yet people like Diana and Kim and I find time to make spirit cookies and cards for every member of our marching band, and it yields positive results. For the most part.
I'm having personal wars with a few people, but none of these situations should be elaborated on here. For this is not the place.
Work is evil. I have not yet gotten a raise and I feel like I am the only person that ever does anything and I'm sick of it. I'll be quitting over the summer anyway, once I get enough money for my car and my California trip.
Ah, yes, I am determined to make it to California for the summer. Or at least part of it. Lisa Huey has volunteered to house me in Sacramento and then take me to SoCal, and THROUGH the Oakland area so I can see my lovely Brandon. In OC, we will of course harass the Reel Big Fish and it is my plan to go putt putting with Tavis and hold his hand on the 18th hole. Diana has already agreed to team up, and I sent Tavis an email, too, but he deleted it.
I asked Patrick to Homecoming and I'm really excited about it right now, but I'm wondering how I'm going to have fun when I'm so sure that the dance is going to suck. And I can't not have fun because I really want him to have fun with me. I really think I'm starting to look at him a lot differently... and I think that's good... but his apparent enamorment (or at least what I was told over the summer) is a little... not really disturbing but unexpected. I feel like I owe him something for his emotions. *sigh* I don't know why.
I miss Chris Little with all of my heart. I saw him at the game Friday and kissed him on the cheek. So much love for this boy.
Little John is a trip... and I really enjoy getting to know him so much. He is very deceiving, though, it seems. And very attractive.
The Ben Folds show at the Roxy was wonderful. I had the sign again and they noticed it. Ben honored my request for Hiro's Song and Millard told me after the show that he really enjoyed seeing me having so much fun. They just make me happy. They're coming back to Athens on the 29th of Novemeber and I've already cleared with my mother to skip the next day of school and see them and stay out abnormally late. Happiness.... whee yay!
Tomorrow I'm making Nicki a birthday cake for her birthday with Enbar and we're going to spend the day together and then have lunch over at Julian's. Patrick will be there. Then I believe the plan is to the movies with Nicki to see something in celebration for her birthday. But I have an enormous amount of homework to do and I doubt that I'll actually do it when Enbar is over because we'll be having too much fun.
I'm tired and am having problems typing, so I think I'll be going to sleep.
Mondays that are holidays for no apparent reason are the best days of the year. That's all I've got to say about that.

2001-08-24T22:37:00.000-04:00

Football season ALREADY?!

AIM::Little John (Charlie)

Hey, I got rejected by a guy today. I need to stop being so straightforward because, yeah, well, I suck. I'm just a friend. To everyone. And I'll accept that. After I get some action. Or something.
I feel old.

2001-08-19T00:10:00.000-04:00

The name of the band that pulled me up on stage was Royal 7. www.royal7music.com

2001-08-19T00:09:00.000-04:00

Office Space=Good

Sound waves::Reggie and the Full Effect "Fought and Won One"

So I have this rash
on my left wrist
from my watch.
And I like a big dork.

Astrea recorded today.
I peed.
Little John emailed me.
I almost peed.
"Reason" is beautiful.
They are beautiful.

Shane was great tonight.
We talked about Radiohead
and good times were had by all.
Patty spazzed a lot.
Too much, maybe.
He seems like a good, solid guy.
But that one picture... I don't know.

I'm tired.
I shall sleep.
I like Clay.
And that's what I'm going to think about.
Ewwwwww.... dirty thoughts. :-X

2001-08-16T00:16:00.000-04:00

Everyone of you is Fired

Sound waves::Ben Folds "Gone"

So I never told you about the Ben Folds show. I brought the big sign and it got lots of attention from him and he really liked it, pointing at it during that part of the song. Remy Zero opened for Ben Folds and his touring solo band and they were awesome. As a matter of fact, they made me cry. And there was pointing.
School has begun. Nothing different there. Boring classes, boring people. I like a big dork, though, and I'm trying to not admit it to myself because I feel bad about it. But I really just want to pull him into a corner and cuddle with him... I should tell him that, because I'm sure he feels the same way. We're cute and we fight. :) Flirrrrrrrtatious.
The most important thing I'm writing in here about is the thatonebandwhosenamekarican'trememberthatpulledheruponstage/Rilo Kiley/Ozma/Nada Surf show that happened last night. I had my interview with Ozma and things were super duper! And they were great! Except for Ryen, who seemed to have his panties in a wad toward the end of the show, but it was very minor. I shot seven rolls of film, was front row dead center... didn't have to deal with a barricade or a photo pit and just had a really great fucking time. I thought I was going to pee when I heard Daniel sing Battlescars so loudly in front of me that I got some of his spit on my face, and also, if he hadn't had a mike, I would have been able to hear him just as well. The boy wails. As does Ryen, but Daniel's the screamer!
I went up to Jose at the end of the show and gave him a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig hug and he remembered my name and made me feel really special! Plus I met Blake (I think?), AKA PINSKEY!, from Rilo Kiley and he was just so short and cute and reminded me of that time in life when I wasn't afraid of anything and didn't have anything to worry about. Star thanked me after the show for my interview and not making it weird! That was really cool! She was so sweet! I really could see like her as just one of my school friends or something... they're all really down to earth and good, solid people. I think my favorite of the show was Jose... because he was just so... responsive and attentive and hyper and cute. Daniel was great, too, because he talked to me from the stage after the show when he was packing up and ... God I just... I really think I got a chance to get some really good pictures. Even if none of my pictures come out as well as the memory is in my mind, I'll still always have that there. It was beautiful. The set was amazing. What I can remember was Domino Effect->Apple Trees, Eponine, The Business of Getting Down, Baseball, Battlescars, If I Only Had a Heart, Game Over, 1988 and some other stuff. They played so well. So, so SO well. And Jeremy got it on his Mini-Disc, so I'll eventually have a copy of that show, along with my interview AND my Reel Big Fish interview... hopefully.
Tonight I made $26 in an hour of carhopping, and being all by myself. Talk about AWESOME! Geeeeeez yeah. :) But I'm tired and it's a schoolnight....

2001-08-10T09:28:00.000-04:00

Shaniqua Don't Live Here No Mo'

Sound waves::The Aquabats! "Captain Hampton and the Midget Pirates!"

So today is the big day which I see Ben Folds semi-solo for my first time, the man himself for my third. I don't care how punk, how ska, how emo, how far from normal I get, I will always have such a great amount of respect for this man and the music he makes on his own and with his bands. I absolutely adore it.
My school schedule is completely messed up. I didn't get any of my AP classes because of my band class, which is technically only offered fifth period (now, I say technically, because I could take fourth period band, but that'd be concert band and it would be very difficult for me to be in symphonic band yet in the concert band class, where we do nothing the same). My AP Physics B class is only offered 5th period. So there's the conflict there. Also, Latin II is offered only 3rd and 4th period, Gifted Pre-Calculus is offered only 3rd and 5th period... so I have Latin II 4th period and Pre-Cal 3rd period, which interferes even more with my other classes. It's ridiculous and I am seriously pissed off. I'm considering going down to Honors Junior English because I KNOW that it's offered 6th period, and my AP US History is offered 2nd period.... but right now I have Gifted Junior English 2nd and Honors History 6th. It's soooooo very screwed up and I'm really, really angry that I have to sacrafice so much for something and I never get thanked. It seems almost like no one cares. Except for me, and others that have to do the same thing. Our drum captain had to drop his AP Senior British Literature down to CP Senior English in order to have his 3rd period open for percussion. It makes me really sad. And I sooo almost cried for him and me.
Whitney and I are supposed to go thrift store shopping this morning. I woke up at 7:45 to start mowing the lawn and, yeaaaaah it's 9:30 and it's only half done. It would really help if I didn't sit here and do stuff like this, but I want to... blah.

2001-08-07T16:46:00.000-04:00

This One's For All the Suckers

Sound waves::Reel Big Fish "This One's For You"

Annnnnnnd I survived band camp and the show's going to be so ridiculously good. If we can figure out how to march again.
Midtown was awesome with Blink 182. I was just so far away... but I met them afterward (again) and they were really, really, really, really great guys. So it was super. And I was randomly kissed by a random hot guy. Needless to say, I had a blast.
I saw Joydrop two days ago and they rocked too.
This Friday is Ben Folds. I made a sign that says, "I just drove to the store for some Preparation H," which is a line from his new single "Rocking the Suburbs," so it should be more than fun. I'll get a reaction out of him, I know it. I'm excited. Ra.
I heart Chris of FGC :X

2001-07-27T15:32:00.000-04:00

Super Duper, Alice Cooper

Sound waves:Rx Bandits "Who Would've Thought"

So Reel Big Fish was orgasmic, as usual. Tavis nearly wet himself in excitement with his card, as I did as he read it aloud on stage.
Warped was beautiful. More specifically, Midtown and the Ataris were beautiful.
I am now a Midtown freak. It is in full cycle and I love Aaron Barrett for having gotten me into them without even knowing it. I see them again the 4th.
Tonight I shall hopefully be seeing Cake at the free On the Bricks shows or whatever.
Brian is a pleasure on the telephone.
Band Camp starts Monday. Sunday night we line the fields. I have no idea what I'm doing, so it should be fun. A week of hell begins Monday, ending Saturday... then I escape to go see Midtown. I'm trying to get a photo pass for them because I love them so much and they are more than incredible.
My love for the Rx Bandits has skyrocketed with their new release... it's absolutely INSANE. YOU MUST GO BUY PROGRESS. It's such a sweet CD. Definitely one of my favorites ever.
I must go shower and try to work this whole Cake thing out for tonight and see how I'm going to manage to get down there.

2001-07-15T14:06:00.000-04:00

Baby You're So Fine... and Sh!t

Sound Waves:N/A
Instant Messanger:PATTY!

This Reel Big Fish show is really soon. Florida's great. We're about to go out on the boat... raaaa...
Lisa's going to be staying with me the 18th and the 19th and that makes me super happy cuz I heart her. And her and Ryan and I are trying to get the boys to go to Taco Bell with us. Teeheehee. If I got Dan in Taco Bell I would soil myself. Literally. I don't think I could take it. Well, actually, I think I could, because we're getting to the point where I feel really comfortable around them as people. I don't know, it's going to be weird cuz of the interview last time. Raaaaa I dunno. I'm gonna go do something else...

2001-07-12T14:06:00.000-04:00

Crotch Rocking Excitement

Sound Waves::Bjork "It's Oh So Quiet"

I'm making Tavis Werts a birthday card, for his 24th birthday (late), to give to him on the 19th... shiiiiiit which is in a week from today. But anyways, his birthday card is gonna have a poem in it, which is as follows.
I was going to make you cookies/But I can't really bake/And I know that you're observant/of your sugar intake./So I thought maybe I could go/and see you on your day/But you were in Ontario/and that's too far away./Then I thought I could call you/on your telephone/But I don't have your number/so I sat there alone./I thought and thought and thought/of things that I could do/without being there on your birthday/to give something to you./So instead I decided/that I'd make you card/that was really big and really cool/to go the extra yard./And I know that this is overdue/exactly eleven days late/but I wanted to make you something/that was so incredibly great./So here you go, Tavis Werts,/you 24-year-old rock star!/I think you're super duper/no matter how old you are.
But that's that.
Florida is beautiful. Jill is awesome. I'm having tons of fun and I've only been here for a day. Yay!

2001-07-07T01:27:00.000-04:00

Headline THIS, Mofo

Sound Waves::Reel Big Fish "Join the Club"

Supposedly Aaron Barrett cut off all his hair. Diana told me this today and I freaked out. Consequently, I cannot wait for the 19th of July to roll around so I can see it... and rub it and tell him how cute he and Diana are for being so in love with each other. I think I'm going to write him a note. In a really gay pink pen. That would probably do the trick. And draw him something nice and pretty. Tell him a crazy story. Scare him away even more... whatever works, works.

I miss Ryan Harris. Hahaha it's funny. I just miss him always being on my buddy list and me always being able to bug him about every little tiny thing. And I want to give him a big hug cuz he's a huggy guy. Hopefully he'll be in town for the RBF show here and will make a cameo at the cookout. But it's weird, because Lisa needs to know if she's going to be able to stay with him or not for the shows before she can book her flight, and she hasn't been able to get ahold of him because he's in Boston. But whaaaaatever. As long as someone knows how to cook chicken, I think we'll be okay. I bet you $50 I'll singe off at least half of my arm hair and burn off my pinky or something. Ah well, that'll get the guys to notice me, I guess.

The 19th should be really great. I talked to Niki (my 20 year old "babysitter") about the cookout and how my mom doesn't really approve of it, but it's going to happen anyway and she said that was fine, as long as we don't burn the house down or break anything. And I told Diana about it and she said that was really cool. I'm planning on telling the guys (RBF) about it at the show and maybe they'll be happy about it or something. :) Aaron already thinks I'm absolutely insane, so I don't think I can throw him off any more. Plus he's a nut job in every possible way. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Hehehe. I'M A NERD!

2001-07-02T01:02:00.000-04:00

She Doesn't Care At All

Sound waves::Blink 182 "Enthused"

And I'll be crying in no less than ten minutes.
Notice the theme for the headers in my blogger? Yeah, I'm a big retard.
Booked flight for Florida. I'm excited to see Jill and Stacey and others.
Happy July. I'm working the 4th. Tomorrow I drive for 6 hours. It should be really interesting, since I have absolutely no idea really what I'm doing on the highway.
And there come the tears.
Damn Blink 182 CD.
Damn Cory being in town.
Damn memories of flawlessness. I miss Chris. So much. And Shawn... was so much fun... and Aaron... just to make everything worse. Beverly, where are you guys when I really need everything to still be the same?
Poop.

2001-06-30T01:42:00.000-04:00

Nobody Cares At All

Sound waves::Dashboard Confessional "This Ruined Puzzle"

Camp was great. It's just beyond words and it was really great for me to have been there with those people and I think it had a really good effect on me and those from my school that attended. It has given me a new sort of respect for the University of Georgia and the Marching Redcoats and it has gotten me really excited to be marching again really soon. And it also has given me a new outlook on the whole situation concerning our band not having a director. I'm more optomistic and really excited to be able to have some control in the future of the band.
I'm beginning to book my flight for Florida. I've found the killer price, but there's a hitch in actually booking it, because I may no be able to get the same offer since I'm an unaccompanied minor and whatever. I should be able to, and I'm going to raise a fit because I want the flight to be the $145 round trip like it said.
Cory surprised me the night before I left with a telephone call. I'm really excited to be hearing from him... he's such a great guy and I really like him. I need to call him and see if we can get together Sunday night and take it from there. He'd be lots of fun to date, but he's such a great friend right now that, even though I think about that... I don't. Hmm. It's interesting, I guess.
I'm copying this CD for Brian and then going to sleep as I do some more researching on what there is to do in Florida and stuff. Another interesting thing, is that Cory might be GOING BACK to Florida right when I'm going to be going down there and he lives near Jill, supposedly... soo I might get a whole lot of Cory in the near future. And it excites the ever living hell out of me.

2001-06-22T13:26:00.000-04:00

Say Goodnight, Means Goodbye

Sound waves::The Rx Bandits "What If"

Mixed CDs are quite fun. I don't like these weather forecasts. They conflict with my plans. Dammit, and I want to see Our Lady Peace tonight. They remind me of Patty... and she and I are so distant now that... it would be really great for me.
I leave for Athens Sunday... leadership camp, here I come. I basically get to put on a huge mask and turn into evil bitch woman who really cares about band... when I do... but just not enough to... blahhh I don't know. This whole leadership camp idea scares the living hell out of me. I'm terrified of the Redcoats, for one, and don't really want to march for them... because I'm not some prodigy. I'm just me. And I'm okay.
Patty cut off all of her hair... lol you should have seen SHANE... it was so very very very funny... the look he gave us. We all got our hair cut. I got mine cut first, then Shane got his cut, and now Patty. All within two weeks of each other. It's great. We should start a club. Nyaaaaah... Shane is so hot.
I scanned a buttload of Astrea photographs... so those of you in Astrea out there, bow down to me. Especially Little John because of the Sean thing and yeah. Hahaha I'm really a big geek.
Brian insists that I write about him in here. I like this kid... Online Boy shall be his new tag and I don't really know what all's to him yet, but he seems like a nice, wholesome guy. And he likes pretty music. :) That never, EVER hurts.
The thing with Michael went well, but he hasn't really talked to me since, which is totally fine or whatever, because it hasn't even really been a week... but I mean... he just seems really distant right now and I thought this would help define our friendship... I had lots of fun, I think he did... we had a good time.
Jeremy's graduation party was remotely homosexual, minus the appearance by the entire group of Astrea and some select groupies... i.e., Beth Kani (love her to deaaaath!). We played on the playground and it was nice. I should have brought my camera and now all of Astrea hates me for not having done so. Bastards.

2001-06-15T12:21:00.000-04:00

I'm Still Waiting For Someone to Call Me Up and Tell Me You're Dead

Sound waves::The Ataris "Song for a Mix Tape"

Happy three days late birthday to, the man, the myth, the legend... RIVERS CUOMO. He must be almost ancient by now. But oh so sexy and his hair's thinning. I love it.
I have a sort of date with Hot Solo Michael Sunday and I'm exciiiiited. We're going to get Warped Tour tickets and seeing Evolution. He's being really nice to me and he makes me all happy like. I got grape jelly on my Weezer shirt. No good. So I'm sitting here in my bra and it's soaking.
Today-- Drivers Education final exam then work...
Tomorrow-- Borders with Patty and Jeremy's graduation thingie...
Sunday-- Movies then work...

I'm trying to keep myself really busy... because I like it. I feel important. And sort of "worth it" now that Michael suggested we get tickets Sunday and I built from there.

I became a part of The Pinkerton Campaign and I'm currently writing Rivers Cuomo a letter trying to convince him to stop hating the record. Because I love it so dearly, and him as well. He's a nut. Perfect, ideal... yay...

2001-06-14T01:34:00.000-04:00

Your Hair, It's Everywhere...

Sound waves::Offspring "Come Out and Play" (as stands music for marching band)

I'm trying to be beautiful. Will says I already am... and all this stuff I'm doing (nails, hair), is just making me even more beautiful. Yeah, my hair looks nice...
Pissed Eddie off last night... maybe I'll get left alone.
I have to drive on the 26th for 6 hours with Mr. Ellis, I have no idea where I'm going to go and I'm a little scared to be driving on 85... for the first time... so it's pretty much wherever he tells me to go, I'll go... I guess.
Waffle House for dinner this Friday... Patty says she wants to do it, and that's fine with me.
I get to go to Florida sometime this summer to see Jill! I'm really really excited about that... because she had invited me and I finally asked my mom, and she's going for it. I just don't really know when I'd go, because there are a few concerts that I have tickets for that stand in the way, and band camp and leadership camp, if either of those happen. Ehhhh time for sleep....

2001-06-13T01:31:00.000-04:00

Weezergasms

Sound waves::The Get Up Kids "Action & Action"

I'm not worth affection. (stop asking me what I'm doing)... I'm not worth anything and I really don't know why I feel this way right now. Oh, poor emo Kari. Hahaha. It's good that I can at least poke fun at myself. Maybe it's my music. That could be it. Not like I'll get rid of it anyway. Crying is good... just keep telling yourself that...
Speaking of music, bought two more CDs... new Blink 182 and Radiohead's Kid A, finally... just when I should be getting Amnesiac and the Bends and everything else they've ever released... but no! Not me! I'm spending too much money and it's not bothering me... won the auction on my purse, on the Dashboard Confessional package, the Weezer magazine, the Kara's Flowers CD... $55 gone...
Today I went to the movies with Anthony to see the Animal. Very, very horrible movie. No fun at all... Taco Bell and Best Buy was nice. And I also got my Blink 182 ticket. I am row GG in section 203 or something like that... which is relatively good, but it's no row Q like before. Hahaha. I'll have to do my fair share of sweet talking security guards in order to make my way up to the front for Midtown.
I'm doing my thing where I drive people away with my indifference and unavailability. I'll be bitching really soon about how I have no friends. I'm going to force them to leave me because I won't open up to them. And that's fine. I seem to have no problem doing it here.
I don't like boys that smoke. I can't deal with it anymore and it's horrible to me. I can't stand it. Blah. It really bothers me that someone will harm their bodies in that way, so habitually and mindlessly. They don't even realize what they're doing... and it kills me.
I SUCK. And I mean it. I really do. I thought I had gotten over this, but I haven't. I need someone to be completely stationary and still and perfect for me. I need Brandon, that's the kind of friend I need right now. It's painful, being so far from him, yet feeling so close... and I know this is all sappy, but it means so much. One of the only people I can talk to and feel like a decent human being at least 50% of the time. Even when he's making fun of me... I just need someone like that. I think that might be what I was trying to do in one of my most recent quests, which has failed miserably at my fault... it was too quick, too weird, too unsure. At least, those are my excuses.
I need to let go.
But I can't.

And I'm conflicted.

2001-06-11T10:32:00.000-04:00

This Bottle of Beast is Taking Me Home

Sound waves::Dashboard Confessional "Screaming Infidelities"

Strangeness. Too much of it. Apparantly Patrick is in love with me and plans on asking me to a second date to the movies, which is fine with me, I'll go... But he's really... I guess he really likes me. And it's so *weird* to me... to find someone that feels that way about ME... of all damn people, he's really worked up over asking me on a date. I don't want him to like me... I don't want ANYONE to like me... Haa... and there are two other guys, too.
I finally got in touch with Antoneo from the Rebelliache tour with the Ataris way back in like March, and he said one of the guys that helped host the event has been asking about me... and that's good, because, well, all of the event staff were models and every guy and every girl were just beautiful. So this is weird to me, too. I just... Don't think anyone can like me. I'm horrible. And I'm getting my hair cut. Wednesday. That's in two days. I'm scared. It's going to look good, just so much of it is going to be gone.
So I've got a few guys flailing after me, yet I'm not really pleased with any of them. They're nice guys, yeah, okay, whatever... but I'm still chasing after this Sean (13 year old)... and now there's Drivers Ed Boy... he's nice. But I doubt I'll see Sean until Astrea's next show... I dunno... maybe Astrea's going to be at Jeremy's Graduation Reception Party thingie at the church Saturday. That'd be nice, because I could talk to John about it, and he always gives me words of encouragement... he's nice. And Brandon's been being awesome toward me... hehehe he actually remembered my name for once. Makes me pleased. :)
Today I must mow the lawn! Before Drivers Ed, then take a shower and work a gay shift, 6-11 after Drivers Ed.
AHHHH!! Patty and I finally went to Borders... it's been like four months and SHANE WAS STILL THERE! And he was all happy to see us and all smily and all looking... he's GREAT! We love him so much! We're going BACK this Saturday before Jeremy's Graduation Thing and maybe we'll buy something this time... because we left for Best Buy, knowing they'd have better prices on their CDs. And I spent $55... Yeah.
Over and out.

2001-06-06T00:21:00.000-04:00

She Took Her Things and She Ran Away

Sound waves::The Impossibles "So Much"

Happy birthday to me... happy birthday to me...
Finally 16. But it's not so sweet.
No big bang. No big feeling. Just some new sports bras, nice earrings, hair stuff, and a phone. Well, wait, that's not *JUST.* But... yeah, that's sort of hefty.
As far as romance goes... there's this new kid in Drivers Ed who won't stop looking at me. I have no earthly idea what his name is, but he's horribly cute and it's obvious that he stares at me. At least, I believe so... and I'm going to start trying to communicate with him... and see what's going on.
I typed up maybe 1/3 of the Impossibles interview today and that was good... it's not perfect, but it's there. Blah. Whatever. :)

2001-06-04T13:47:00.000-04:00

Poison My Speaking Voice With Half-Truths and Denials

Sound waves::The Impossibles "Oxygen"

Last night was beautiful. We sort of saw the Impossibles at Under the Couch... we got there really late, and The Movielife ended up cancelling to go play with the Bosstones, so that put the Imps up first, so we only caught about 4 songs. After their show, we had our interview and it was totally something worth every second. Gabe wasn't really in a people mood, and that became obvious about ten minutes through the interview where he went to go sit about fifteen feet away from us against a wall and had nothing to do with anything from that point on, except for a small comment about Ween.
Craig, Pat, and Rory were totally awesome... they were very into the interview, paid attention to everything I said and asked, and gave some really great answers. I felt like it went really well, and they enjoyed it. We talked for nearly an hour. It was so smooth and easy... I barely used my notebook for my questions, and lead them into traps where the only way to get them out was to ask them another question... I felt like it was more just like a casual discussion, which was craftily guided by my comments and questions, which is awesome. There were only a few times where I had to abruptly stop things and change the subject. And even then, it was good, because I did it in perfect timing, not to where they sat there and waited for another question to be asked.
This song, Oxygen, is beautiful. I have to listen to it until I get sick of it.
I've listened back to the interview twice now... which is cool... Because I love it so much. It was really good, and I honestly can't wait to get it typed out and up on my website, and to get my 'random pictures' developed. Even though I still have like ten on that roll that I need to take and do away with. And I have to get around to making my website worth a damn. Oh, I remember what I was going to do. Well. I should call Joy and see what she's doing tomorrow, cuz we were going to go thrift shopping for my birthday and I really want to do that. I also need to get Patty's designer from her so I can be cool like Patty and have a kick ass website. Hehehe. Maybe I'll fork over the money to get my own domain. I dunno. Blaaahhhh!!

2001-05-28T14:31:00.000-04:00

If You Want to Run, Put the Pedal to the Metal

Sound waves::Ozma "The Business of Getting Down"

Soooooooo blah they're gonna start working me in the kitchen at Sonic and I think it's pretty funny because, well, girls are going to be in the kitchen. Jamie and I are going to be kitchen pals.
Yes, it looks like I will be seeing the Impossibles, and it's ironic because that's where the title of this blogger came from.

2001-05-27T01:49:00.000-04:00

Casey and Kari are Married

Sound waves::Ozma "Continental Drift"

I think it is insanely safe to say that my new happy place is the break table at work, spooning Moose Tracks ice cream to Rivers Cuomo with Ozma in the background.
June 3rd I will most likely be seeing the Impossibles, and that makes me horrendously happy. I'm determined to use a great deal of alliteration and gargantuan vocabulary now that school has sucessfully stopped its existance. It is going to get very annoying very quickly, and all I can say is, "DEAL!"
Oooh... speaking of school... My grades as I know them...
ENGLISH: 91.2
CHEMISTRY: 94
MATH: 92
HISTORY: 93
So yay. Hahaha I got a 72 on my Latin final. That was bad. And I really could care less, because I sleep in there every day, and I should.
Brandon is not home.
But my third cousin Jonathon is over and that is just a beautiful thing.

Oh... my friend Eddie. Hehehe I like him. :) Yeah. And it troubles me because... it just does.

Rookie Camp is Wednesday of this week... Tuesday I have to resume my cleaning of the 7-year-old Low Brass Spit Wall... which has been masked by the doors to the instrument closet and has only been brought to my attention this year when we were mopping the floors (I think the first people to EVER do that) and beating the rugs from the instrument closet. There's a layer of snot which still will NOT come off... and I've tried the Goof Off and everything, so it's seemingly hopeless... but... there's always the chance for something. I'm thinking steel wool and some super duper cleaner. That is, if I can successfully retain my vomit.
Today we walked around downtown. It was nice because I knew where we were... (I love going downtown on my own now, it's so awesome.)

2001-05-15T22:19:00.000-04:00

Two Verse Emo Songs

My stereo's up as loud as it will go
And he's yelling the words of my heart
It's been too many years that I've never seen your face
too many days we've spent apart

I'd give the stars, the moon, the farthest galaxy
Just to see the way you'd look at me
when you'd say that you need me too
Cause you know that I need you

2001-05-11T03:54:00.000-04:00

Yeah, You're Tired Inside

Sound waves::Weezer "Adeline (My Evaline)"

Ataris is for sure for Saturday. Astrea isn't playing until 11:30. 13 year old boy isn't going to be there, though. He has decided to go to the Misfits instead of the Ataris... And I don't blame him, because it's his decision and the Misfits are pretty cool. But... come on... the Ataris. Hahaha. I'm just a pop-punk emoish nerd who likes cute lead singers and great bands that DON'T HURT MY EARS.
Notice everyone, how it's 4:00 AM and I'm only halfway studied for History. I woke up at 2:30 and started studying, ate at like 3:15 and came down here. I need to be done by like 5 to shower and then start on Math. This whole nocturnal schedule is actually working very well.
So only six more full days of school.
Weezer in four.

2001-05-10T06:35:00.000-04:00

Damn, it's early...

Sound waves::My Little Ira "Drama and Torn Dresses"

You want new Reel Big Fish pictures? You've got 'em... here until I find a better place for them. I realize I already put the address somewhere, but links are easier.
Man, this Matt guy has such a good voice.
Ataris most likely this Saturday... which excites the crap out of me.
And the new Weezer video is one of the most beautiful things I've seen in a while.
What am I doing on the computer? Oh yes, killing time until these songs are over. But this is stupid. It's 6:30 and I'm fucking typing on Blogger... and Patty'll be here in ten odd minutes. It's okay, though, because My Little Ira is good.
Yearbooks rock face and smell really good. I enjoy writing good yearbook entries and making them pretty with silvery pens.
Maaaaaan I have to buy 3 CDs when I make my trip to Best Buy. Have to get the new Weezer and the new Tool and the new Sum 41 CD that was released a while ago. Purrrrrrrrr goooooood music. Hahaha. Except for maybe not the Sum 41 part. I just like them... don't really know why. :) They're cute... and funny.

2001-05-09T15:39:00.000-04:00

Sound waves::The Ataris "I.O.U. One Galaxy" (It's funny how a 2 minute song can be so powerful)

"Easy"

I am searching for that
familiar idea of seventh grade simplicity:
perfection inside a single metallic smile,
the inexperienced feeling of exploration--
pins and needles
shaking down goosebumped skin.
I am able to think clearly for once,
linking my actions with reasons for acting.
I miss the feeling of newness.
I want things to be awkward
yet relaxed. My hands shaking slightly
as they slide across his cheeks--
just making sure that this is real.

I want to be the only one that matters
to someone again.

2001-05-09T15:37:00.000-04:00

Sounds waves::The Ataris "Song For a Mix Tape"
Instant Messanger::John Thraaaaasssssher!

Reel Big Fish was good. If you haven't figured that out already. You can see pictures at http://www.angelfire.com/on2/ballsSQUAD/images/rbf/ and stuff yeah.
I'm chasing after a 13 year old because he's cute. And was wearing a Marlins shirt and stuff.
My Little Ira rocks really hard and I really like them and they're really emo and REALLY, REALLY good and cute and they're gonna come to Atlanta soon and hahaha all of this is making Matt like Patty more. :) Eeek! Which probably isn't good.
Aww I think I'm gonna get to see the Ataris this Saturday, along with 13 year old boy and my 3rd pleasure of seeing Astrea. I love you guys so much. :)
Poem time. Be prepared on next post. Weezer in 6 days.

2001-05-01T00:29:00.000-04:00

Sound waves::Tool "Schism"

"Loud"

I let go of everything
that I've been holding within me
for the three years I've known you.
Every emotion and sacred word
which bare all of my insides
and leave me completely exposed-
I set them all free.

I am not plagued with a single doubt
or feeling of rejection. I am open
and comfortable and letting loose.
The tears flow like my fingers against
your skin. Soft circles. No fear.
Easy. Relax. There's a strong electrifying
connection between our voices,
red eyes... we were made for each other.
Our cynicisms compliment
and things are perfectly... perfect.

Yet I'm exaggerating...
only slightly.
But still...

2001-04-22T00:27:00.000-04:00

Sound waves::Ozma "If I Only Had a Heart"
Instant Messanger::Joe with the Hairy STOMACH! Eeeek! FEEL THE WRATH OF HIS HAIRY STOMACH!

So RBF is very soon and I made a lot of money tonight so I am content. Still no official word on the interview...
Made plans to meet Jill at the Varsity... I'm having problems waiting....

2001-04-19T06:03:00.000-04:00

Sound waves::Presidents of the United States of America "Peaches"

Or You'll Wind Up in JAIL! Yeah. Woke up too early... got nothing to do but listen to some POTUSA and see if Mike's emailed me back, which he hasn't. I feel like I'm a cancer patient waiting to find out if I'm MALIGNANT or cancerous! Oooooooooh! Malignant. Bam. SAT word right there. Blugeon... bam! Minatory! BAM! Wheeeeee.
Squished a rotten peach in my fist...
Jason and the gang came to see me at work last night. That made me warm and happy. We're trying to do another ZIM viewing party this Friday... I dunno if it's going to happen or not, because last time it didn't. It's just an excuse for us to hang out... I like Jason. Definitely a good guy.
I wonder who reads this! Hey! Nobody but me and people I tell to read it!
Wow... it's been like two weeks since I've communicated in any form with Brandon... I'm going to keep it like this until he speaks up. I'm tired of doing all the talking and, it is quite possible that I've run out of stuff to talk about that he wants to hear. *kick*
5 days until the Athens show. I guess I'll give Mike until Saturday or so, email him again, give him until Monday and then call Vince again if he doesn't get in touch with me.

2001-04-18T16:23:00.000-04:00

Sound waves::Midtown "Let Go"
Instant Messanger::N/A

I swear, they're trying to torture me by not emailing me back yet. My stomach's in knots, and I have to go to work tonight, so I won't be able to find out what's going on or whatever until late tonight. And then I have to practice and I have buckoo amounts of homework. It's crazy. And I'm not happy with it. But for now, I must go practice scary scale studies!
Oh, and Ryan's not dodging me. He had to go to work. :)

2001-04-17T15:18:00.000-04:00

Sound waves::Midtown "No Place Feels Like Home"
Instant Messanger::Jonathon, Patrick, Eric, Joy

Vince Pileggi is possibly the nicest guy ever. I talked to Tavis Werts last night via AIM and he told me I should call Vince concerning an interview and my situation... And I did... Vince was so nice, told me not to worry, that the whole thing wasn't a big deal at all and that they're always looking out for the fans, and he said that they may be able to 'hook me up' and get me into the Emory show as well as having an interview.
I ended up listening to 12 CDs last night. And uhh... Vince is really nice. And he sounded cute, if that makes sense.
So I had to send MIKE an email and now I'm waiting for his word... Blaaaaah..... too much waiting. The show's in a week and I'm petrified. I still have to call Lance and let him know all of what's going on.
I think Ryan's upset... he signed off as soon as I signed on. Most likely has something to do with me... and that makes me mad because yeah. But I'll stop there.

2001-04-16T20:56:00.000-04:00

Sound waves::Reel Big Fish "241" -> This is possibly the best song ever...
Instant Messanger::Meghan (Prepazoid) and Ryan (Harris)

Wow. Happy news and the increasing nervousness of the nearness of Reel Big Fish. Diana says she's going to relay my message to Aaron, but I'm not so sure if that's going to happen and I don't really care. And Tavis just signed on and I want to IM him but I'm too scared and he's eeky and I definitely don't need to ruin anything...
History project is almost done... I just realize how far ahead I am and how early it is, so I'm procrastinating.
Don't work again until Wednesday..............
Blah.
I'm on my 8th CD of the day.

2001-04-15T18:36:00.000-04:00

Sound waves::The Benjamins "Wonderful"
Instant Messanger::Jason's IM is still sitting there open... but he hasn't spoken in a little over an hour. I think he deserted me.

It seems like it should be much later than it is. It's Easter and it rained today... I went up to Dunkin Donuts to study and ate Munchkins instead.
I'm dissatisfied with myself and my long distance friends. I guess it's finally time to be upset with them, since I haven't ever been. Them? It's not really them. It's more like him. And I probably shouldn't be typing this, but I don't care. I'm closing myself off and I have to be able to vent somewhere.

Last night Patty, Kevin, and I trekked up to Sweetwater Billiards to see her dad's band play. Kevin was good and I feel like I really got to know him this time around. He only made fun of me for liking ska and emo once, which was good, because I usually get a boatload of crap from him.

Since the last time I've been here, I've uhh seen Lagwagon with the Vandals and the Ataris, and Astrea (Jeremy's band) a few times. I've also been developing a master plan for the days of April 24th and April 25th. I'll talk about that in a minute, but first I have to talk about Lance and Greg, the infamous Tennessee Boys.

Who are they? Guys I started talking to at the Less Than Jake show that showed up at the Ataris show exactly a month later. They're like mirror images of me and just incredibly perfect in every way. We have the same interests, like the same bands, have the same views. There's a small age difference, which I'm not even completely aware of (because I'm afraid to ask). They're both beautiful and really down to Earth. Talking to them, I figured that'd they'd be huge assholes because they were so nice looking, but learned differently... They protected me during Less Than Jake and helped me start a small skanking pit where we had our fun and triple skanked.
So I was just dawdling at the Ataris show, I got there, decked out in my gear (hahah RIGHT!) and was browsing the line for Mark or Amber or Harris and Jacki, but found Lance calling out my name instead. It was great that he remembered me and remembered my name... :) So we hung out the entire show... and I do mean the ENTIRE show except for the Ataris part... because I was in the front riding some guys ass (which was NOT my doing... I had to stay in the second row and, dammit, that was the only way) and he wasn't. He and Greg were lost in the pit somewheres, but we teamed up during the Vandals and stood in the middle, then went by the merch tables for Lagwagon... I talked to Kris Roe during Lagwagon's set and really hit it off with him... Lance was all giddy to be meeting Kris, as was I, and we laughed and grinned and giggled. Good times were had by all. Then the show ended, we met the bassist of Lagwagon and then we left... He emailed me and gave me his cell number and I notified him of possibly the most beautiful news ever.
On the 24th of April, Reel Big Fish will be playing the 40 Watt in Athens, and on the 25th, will be playing Emory University in Atlanta. Lance is coming down for both shows, because he lives in Knoxville, and my friend's putting him up for the night. Jeremy and I are skipping school on the 25th and going downtown to hang out and hopefully meet up with Reel Big Fish... but there's no way in hell that we'll get into that show, unless a miracle happens, because it's open only to students. Probably the gayest thing I've ever heard, but it'll be okay as long as we get to see them I get Lance to meet them. He's never seen RBF live and they're his favorite band, so I want everything good to happen for him. And well, me too, even though I had such a strike of luck at the last show.
I even made them t-shirts! Man, I'm a fag! They're uber cute, though, and have nicknames on the back of them and say "OBS" on the front, so things are good there with that. If worse comes to worse, we can just beg them to let us do something with them the next day when we're at the Athens show. Wow. It's so confusing and I'm feeling knots in my stomach because I'm just so nervous. It's absolutely crazy. It really, really is.
I have the 40 Watt tickets now and that just reminds me like how close it is to happening. I'm anxious to see Lance now that we've been talking on the phone, and I'd just love to see his reactions to seeing Reel Big Fish live and perhaps meeting them. Plus I want to see Ryan Harris again. I'm doing an OBS SPOTLIGHT on him, hopefully, I'm going to interview him and I wrote up this RAD ASS intro about his history and everything.

I've been rennovating my site and it looks good... mmmmm I want to get hosted. HOST ME! GAH!

2001-03-05T16:43:00.000-05:00

Sound waves::Bill Chase "Get it On"
Instant Messanger::N/A

Yay I'm working all three days for the band festival...
Completely and totally random...
School shooting today, scared me, too close to Brandon. Too close to someone too important to ever have to lose. And I mean that. Ever.
Today is Dad's birthday. Boy, do we have something in store for him.
I guess I'll end this, since mother should be calling sooner or later.
Walking to school was good... for me physically and emotionally. Chris is a nice kid.

2001-03-03T00:43:00.000-05:00

Sound waves::Mest "Richard Marxism"
Instant Messanger::Andy

Everyone is worthless, I've decided. I can't stand people, except for like, Joy and Brandon and Patty and Allison and Alison and Katie and Melisa and... well, I guess I can stand people. It's just, I'm angry.
The boy I had my heart set on marry and had just recently come to accept the extreme prossability that it WILL happen, totally shafted me. So I've been drowning on that all week and sulking. It was harsh. It wasn't really anything big, but it hurt me that he'd even be mean to me. Like Joy says, he's changing. I suppose she's right. No, I know it. I completely know it and I'm just trying to hold onto this kid as long as it is possible. Too much to lose.
Katie's birthday was today. I did her desk and it turned out well. My favorite so far.
Less Than Jake was a liberating and orgasmic experience. Anti-Flag and New Found Glory ROCKED ass. I seem to becoming more and more into emo music, which is a little disturbing. Maybe it's just disturbing because of that name, emo... emotional. Whack crap right there. Some of it's insanely tolerable and good and I just love it. I know I'm not going to get hardcore into it anytime soon, so I'm not getting too concerned just yet. But I can't lose base with my Reel Big Boys, or there will be hell to pay.
Speaking of... I've had way too many Tavis Teacher Man sightings lately. Tonight at the school play, he was two rows back from me with EARRINGS in his ears! Couldn't you just die? It was hilarious. And I laughed a lot. And at Chili's I got a kids coloring thing and drew pictures of him and circled his crotchinal regions and said it was the next spot on the journey. I had too much fun.
Oh, and don't be surprised if I end up on the TV show Popular on the WB..... I did some really stupid audition for lots of free Jolly Ranchers. I must say it was good.
I want to get married. Yes. I have decided.
Today I must work seven hours, so sleep would be a good thing.

2001-02-11T00:11:00.000-05:00

Sound waves::The Cure "Boys Don't Cry"

So I've been working. A lot. My two day weeks have been upped to four days. Last night I made $80 in tips. DAMN I LOVE IT.
I met the MOST SWELL people last night at work, too! They were great, and nice, and super, and fun! And I think they like me! So yay! Hehehe. :) It's cute. Most definitely.
Countdown to Less Than Jake: 5 days. Thursday. That's soon. I'm really excited because, for once, I actually have the ticket in my hand and know that it's all ages and know that I'll be able to get in. I'm going to make Chris a sign that says, "Be my Valentine!" and something else pretty cheesy. I'm wondering what he'll do... you know, if anything. But whatever.
I umm am gonna be alone for Valentine's day! Yay! How queer is that? I think it's pretty queer... but, you know, that's JUST me. Freaking piece of crap boys. Gah. But that reminds me that I need to buy some Valentine's candy for retarded BETA club crap so they don't kick me out. Gay.
Oh... I'm having a say in next next year's marching uniforms. Makes me feel special.
I love it when boys are cunts and say that they're going to go to the show that you're going to and then change their mind. FREAKIN A! And the bitchslapping immenses.

2001-01-29T15:03:00.000-05:00

Sound waves::Sublime "What Happened?"

Today is a day like any other... except I would really like to keel over and die. Head colds are no fun. And neither are Freshman who don't advance toward you, but don't reject you. It makes things confusing. And makes my head hurt even more. Gaah.
My God, what is that awful smell?
I miss Bradley Nowell. And this makes me even sadder... because Sumblime... stomped out in their prime, so much potential left to fulfill. And Blind Melon. Holy crap, don't get me started. Yay for people dying of heroin overdoses on their first try. THE FUCKING SYSTEM, MAN! GAH!
I have to make cookies. Cookies, cookies.
Superbowl party was fun... mmm... hehehe I was in Tim's room for 15 minutes. :X Too bad nothing happened BECAUSE I'M A WUSS AND SO IS HE AND GAH! Dammit I hate being a teenager!
And I feel like crap today. Because I am sick and it's just boo. Plus I failed countless things in class today. And Joy was not there to comfort me. Sad. Sigh.

2001-01-12T21:51:00.000-05:00

Sound waves::The Ataris "In Spite of the World"

So I released the secret picture and everyone seems to love it so far. Plus I attracted two more people to the website. Brandon, I would hope that you are reading this, so I expect you to visit http://www.angelfire.com/on2/ballsSQUAD and sign the guestbook. Since I'm leaving, I want lots of nice things to comfort me when I get back.
Yes, I am leaving for Washington DC on Wednesday and I'll arrive back late Sunday night... so... hmmph. Interesting, I suppose. It should be fun and I'll provide those closest to me with many pictures and direct documents of the trip. I have this bad feeling about the inauguration itself... something bad's going to happen... to Bush or to someone else... it's his time...
I made 57 copies at Kinkos today and spent $4something on them. That was fun. I love that place. Open 24/7 and with a cute guy at the register.
Tomorrow morning I get to go shopping for umm... the trip... and Monday I'm getting my nails done... I've come to the conclusion to wear my hair down and curl it a little to give myself a little more comfort... because I will definitely be uncomfortable showing off that much of my chest. :X But it's sexy. If my arm acne decides to go away... it'll be even sexier. *purr*
Ohhhhhhh BRANDON, I hope you're reading this because that screenname you told me to get does have a profile, but I'm simply too lazy to find it for you.
I need someone to give me some sessual attention. :) Heheh. I know someone who would, but I'm scared of him.
Kris Roe is the ideal man. Hmm. I guess this music is emo. Scary. And I hate emo. Bwahaha! Or, well, just the general idea of emo, I guess. Well... hahaha I'm saying a lot about nothing and no one's paying attention to this, I'm sure. Just me.

2000-12-13T12:03:00.000-05:00

Sound waves::Election Madness

Checked out of school... so tired... so sick... I shall go zonk out. I just took some Nyquill. Rock the fugg on.

2000-12-12T20:50:00.000-05:00

Sound waves::Titus

Mmm... Blogs are sexy. I wonder if Brandon's reading this. Phase 1 of your birthday present came in today, if you are, and you shall be more than pleased with me... if Phase 2 lives up to its expectations. Which it will. The Christmas Present is completed. Or, as much as it will be... and may be super sized, depending on how many times I work and how much money I make between now and next Thursday. I figure I'll have plenty of money.
Donwtown next week. Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar. Excited. School is over Wednesday and that makes me happy too. Vegas said he wanted to put the penis picture on the main RBF site. I'm awesome.